Chapter 51: Ayla
I froze when my hand touched the cold metal door handle.
What the f*ck was I doing?
I had blocked Theo from me in my anger, but he was still coming through to me. I could feel his turmoil and confusion. I could feel his pain. Pain that I caused. And for what? Because he wouldn’t kill someone for me? Because he wouldn‘ t let me kill him?
What kind of monster was I?
A million questions and accusations ran through my mind as my knees gave way, and I sunk to the hardwood floor.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Theo was right. This wasn’t me. Throughout our entire fight, M knew what he was saying made sense. I knew we needed to keep him alive to get information. But my rage was so
consuming that I didn’t care. I hated Lloyd so much I felt like I was on fire.
I couldn’t pinpoint what cleared my mind from that haze, but something had. Now, I just felt remorse and pain and fear. I was scared of how I just acted. I felt Theo next to me. I was scared of the damage I just did.
I don’t know how long it took for me to finally calm down. Theo just held me like he always did. Whenever I came close to composure, I thought about how amazing he was and another wave would hit me. When I finally felt like it had all
passed, my b*dy ached from crying and my face was thoroughly covered in tears and snot.
“I’m sorry, Theo,” I said once more as I released my hold on him. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have tried to leave. I shouldn’t have been mad at you. I don’t know what came over me.”
Theo sighed, brushing my hair back and wiping my cheeks with his thumbs. “You’ve been overwhelmed, baby. You’ve had a rough day. I think it’s just time to call it and go to bed. And tomorrow, your life will be about the normal things, okay? School, work, friends, all those good things.”
I nodded. I guess I needed that more than I thought. It was still a little painful to admit I couldn’t handle it all, but I wouldn’t let my pride risk this happening again.
Theo lifted me to my feet and led me to the bedroom. He helped me change into pajamas and we crawled into bed together. I was exhausted but I couldn’t fall asleep. I was pressed against Theo, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, but I still felt a subtle distance between us. He was still upset with
He sighed, resting his forehead on my head.
“Ayla…”
“Yes,” I murmured.
“Don’t threaten to command me again,” he replied, “please.”
Horror and guilt washed through me as the weight of my threat hit me.
“Never again. I swear,” I said firmly. I squeezed him tighter, and he did the same.
“And please, please, don’t ever f*cking leave me,” he begged. “Please.”
“I swear,” I repeated.
He was quiet for a while. I thought he had fallen asleep when he spoke again.
“You know this will be worse for him.”
“What?” I asked, looking up at him.
“He will fight every command,” he explained. “It will be long and agonizing. I will promise you that. He will get what he deserves. And when he does die, he will die knowing he helped us defeat everything he was fighting for.”
I didn’t want to say it was comforting, but it was reassuring. And it brought me a small sense of peace. I snuggled in close to Theo once more and quickly drifted off to sleep.
***
We had a slow morning the next day. It didn’t have class until later, so Theo got up and made a big breakfast for us. The distance I had felt last night was gone and I felt a weight had been lifted off of me. We were nearly finished with our meal when there was a knock on our door. I looked at Theo and saw someone was linking him.
“It’s Will and Kingston,” he said, pushing away from the table to go let them in.
stood to follow, hanging back a little as he opened the door
Chapter 51; Ayla
and invited them in.
“Good morning, Ayla,” Kingston said kindly.
They both looked terrible, especially Kingston. He must have been down in the cellar all night. And by the looks of it, his temper had also gotten the better of him a time or two. There were various smatterings of blood on his clothes and his knuckles were bruised and split. Kingston followed my gaze and realized the state he was in.
“My apologies,” he sighed. “I should have stopped to change.”
“No,” I insisted, taking a little comfort in what his appearance implied. “Are you okay, though?”
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The readers' comments on the novel: The Luna’s Choice (Theo and Ayla) by Kat Silver
This book is missing 20 chapters. It goes from 151 to 171. You miss a whole bunch on what has happened....