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“Why would I do that, I love Griffin with my entire being” I snapped at Selene.
Because it felt like she was playing with me. Before she could answer me, I heard a different voice in the distance. I instantly recognized it as Krystel.
“Well, that was a productive week, although I could have done more. with your help. But I will leave you be for now I know you and Griff like to have your weekend off” Krystel told me.
I realized she was still acting as my Beta, having faith in me returning to them. It brought a smile to my face.
“You are starting to hear them now don’t you?” Selene asked, ignoring my previous question.
“I do, but it feels like I am still missing something, like there are things. that do not make sense” I honestly answer hoping Selene will fill in the gaps for me.
“That is because time here goes by differently than it does on Earth. The hour we have spent chatting with her has been ten days on Earth now. Soon Griffin is going to be forced to decide to let you go, if your soul does not return to your body” In this hour I had found out Selene had a range of smiles.
Like she could communicate with them, she had smiles that made you pity her. Ones that made you safe, or would make you feel alone like. she wasn’t actually going to help you. Now her smile seemed to tell me that it would be all right whatever decision I would make.
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But there wasn’t any decision to make. I needed to be with Griflin, I needed to make up for lost time.
“I know you love Grillin and your mind wants to be with him. Your heart might even but it is your soul that needs to go back to your body. You need to find out what your soul really wants. You fought against being Griffin’s second chance mate. Not only that, but you have had doubts about wanting to be a Luna, let alone a Queen. Now is a chance to do some soul-searching. I owe you an out with all I have unwillingly put you through. Griffin might think he is not able to make it without you but he is. And I will be sure to make sure he has a wonderful life. with all he ever wanted” Selene offers me and then she stands up ready to walk away.
I was about to ask her where she was going, and how she would know if I made my decision when another voice rang through the valley. The voices were getting louder this time. And I could clearly hear Dillion.
“Firecracker, please tell your man to go shower. I mean, it would be bad enough for a human, but with our wolf scent, my eyes are watering. Please squeeze his hand if you want him to shower and sleep?”
Again, I must have missed a part of the conversation, but if Griffin was. not showering because of me, he was not taking care of himself. It was all I needed to know to want to give Griffin a sign.
“Please, Selene, tell me how I can squeeze his hand when I am here” I beg Selene as she turns away from me.
She looks over her shoulder before answering me, “If your soul wants to be with Grillin enough, it can control your body. Think about all that has happened between the two of you”
With that, she walks away, in my mind is the soft rustling of her skirts as she walks off. I am going to
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need to find a way to get back to my body. For now, just being able to control my hand will be enough. But what hand is Griff holding? What hand do I need to squeeze?
“Come on Griff, tell me what hand you’re holding” I focus all my energy and my thoughts on him. Suddenly I can feel his hand holding mine. His fingers gently twitch like he is nervous. Hoping I will actually squeeze his hand. So I try, I try the hand of this non-corporal body, hoping my corporal body will follow suit.
I was holding my breath, waiting to find out if it had helped or not. So. far I had felt Griff squeezing my hand back. But I could not be sure if he had actually felt me squeezing his hand. Or if he had squeezed my hand, hoping it would make me squeeze back. Dillion had whispered something but it was so quietly that I did not hear what he said. A second later, Griffin’s voice rang out, and while it was shaky and soft, I could hear him perfectly clear.
“Please Darling, can you squeeze me once more, if you do, I promise I will shower, sleep, and then I will bake you your favorite?”
I smiled at the promise of his Snickerdoodle cookies and went to squeeze his hand. As I was about to, I was hit with a flood of memories. Pictures of what my future with Griffin would be like. I tried to squeeze his hand, but because of the images flooding my brain, I could not. I shook my head, pushing the images back, I succeeded. and this time when I squeezed his hand I could feel drops of water splashing on my face.
Griffin’s voice betraying him, telling me he was the one crying was loud and clear as he told me.
“Okay, Darling everything for you, I will be back in two, two, and at half hours tops. You won’t be alone, though, Dillion will be right here. with you. He misses you more than he dares to tell anyone” He slightly chuckled as he teased Dillion, it was a sense of normality that made
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my heart soar.
“He is wrong you know, I’m not ashamed of how much I miss you Fire Cra cker. There are just not enough words to describe it. I miss you as my future leader because of the faith I have in you to make the pack and the country even better. I miss you as my best friend’s mate which makes him so very happy, that fits in with our little group of best friends and mates so well. And I miss you as the other best friend I never knew I needed. I miss you as the platonic soulmate you turned out to be. But you are so much more, and there are no words to describe the more, and that is why I keep doing what we always do. Because I will not pity you when you finally come back to us. You are strong enough not to need my pity. I will be the chaotic best friend who needs to tell you the most random things at the most random times. So that is why I keep doing it even now because we are still like we were. And because I need to make myself believe that in fifty years from now, we will still be doing that.” Dillion’s words reminded me that it was not just Griffin I needed to get back to.
He kept speaking to me, but his voice started to drift to the background. Not the memories of all I had gone through both with Griffin and without him started flooding my mind. Moments of my greatest joys. And then flashes of what the future would be like. Happy, blissful moments with just the two of us. Moments as a happy family. And then there were the moments where we fought, moments he made me sad, where we screamed at each other. Moments where we were exhausted while trying to get our pups to sleep in the middle of the night. Moments where we needed to make hard decisions for our country. Moments were stressed, and family life stressed us out so much we barely spoke.
It made me realize I did not need to go to Grillin, and our life together would not be perfect. But it would be a happy life, filled with love and friends and family. And it might not be what I need anymore. Not when I can just be here in the heavens. But having all of that,
experiencing all of that with Griffin, it was that I wanted so I needed to
find my way back home.
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