The Silent Alpha novel Chapter 19

 ***Natalia*** 

We walk down the road in silence, several wolves paying respect to their Queen with a bow as they walk past us.

"Why do they bow to you?" I blurt out, wishing the earth would swallow me after the words leave my lips.

"Sorry, ignore me," I mutter, avoiding her gaze.

"It’s okay," she says.

"lam an Ivory Wolf, a special type of wolf that only exists every 150 years when a Silver and Gold Wolf are mated.You can think of me as a guardian for the werewolf race, gifted with many abilities to protect all of the children of the moon.Wolves sense my power and pay respect to me by bowing." I store this information although I did not fully understand what a gold wolf or silver wolf is.

Aurora chuckles to herself and I raise an eyebrow at her.Did she think I was stupid for asking such a question?

 "Not at all," she chuckles as we arrive at a beautiful garden, brimming with gorgeous flowers, trees full of fruit and water fountains carved from stone.

"I just think it’s funny that you don’t seem to know a lot about werewolves and yet you hate us all."

"I never said I hated werewolves," I retort defensively.

"No, but you thought it," she shrugs, making her way to a small “Many times, I might add."

"How could you know tha-"

"I read your mind," she sighs, swinging her short legs as she takes a deep breath.

"It’s one of my gifts.I’ve heard every thought you've had ever since you set foot in my office last night and while we had breakfast this morning.I’ve also seen all your memories, including those of your former pack."

My cheeks burn knowing I had thought many vile things last night about wolves, but it was not something I planned to apologize for.I did not ask to be brought here to live among wolves.I just wanted to live my life with my baby.

Why couldn’t anyone understand that? "I’m not asking you for an apology,"

Aurora sighs.

"In fact, I understand your fears and concerns.Trust me, I know exactly what pain you’re feeling-"

"You know what I’m feeling?" I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You don’t know a thing about me! I trusted your kind.I trusted my mate.I trusted my pack and they all turned their backs on me when I needed them the most.They shattered everything within me and the only reason I am still standing here today is because of my little boy.He is the only reason I get up every morning, working two jobs so I can give him everything he deserves! I’ve given him everything.Me! I did that! Not my mate! Not some pack! Not any wolf! Me!"

I scream, wiping the tears that had spilled onto my cheeks pain! You don’t know anything about me! You get to sit here and be happy with your mate.

You didn’t have to fight tooth and nail to prove your worth to your people! You didn’t have people waiting for you to fail, expecting you to crumble under all the pressure of being a human Luna.You weren’t rejected by your mate and made to feel like you were worthless!

My entire body trembles with rage.I want to kick myself from crying in front of a wolf and showing her just how truly broken I was.

The little Queen sits quietly in her seat, closing her eyes and inhaling the fresh summer air.

For a long time, she says nothing and I contemplate just leaving and taking Kota far away from here before she finally heaves a heavy sigh.

"I was almost 13," she whispers, her eyes still closed.

"I was almost 13 when I was accused of murdering my father." I stare blankly at her, not sure what to do with that information.

"The beatings started almost immediately when they found me with his body," she murmurs, fidgeting with her fingers in her lap.

"I never even had a chance to explain what happened. They all just turned on me..." Her voice trembles as she continues.

"My adoptive siblings, Mia and Salvador..." she pauses for a moment to catch her breath.

"T-they turned on me too...and for five years they...they beat me, tortured me in my sleep...shattered every space just trying to make it through the day."

When she finally looks up at me, there are tears in her eyes.

"My own mate didn’t even want me when we first met...Oliver, he...he rejected me." An uncomfortable smile curls on her lips.

"He didn’t want a murder for a Luna."

Her mate rejected her? Ithink, wondering how she could have forgiven him for hurting her in the first place.

"You see, I was not always the respected Queen of this Kingdom.I was once a pack slave, withering away in a basement.I was beaten, tortured, forced to work day in and day out until my bones hurt.I was not handed my crown, I fought for it, struggling against my own inner demons, my doubts, my fears, everything that made me believe I was just a worthless mutt to become what I am today," she says as she wipes her tears.

"So yes, I do understand your pain.I know what it’s like to be rejected by the one person who is supposed to love you most.I know what it’s like to be betrayed and humiliated by your pack, by your family, by everyone you’ve ever loved.I know what it’s like to feel like you will never measure up to everyone’s expectations.I know!"

She shouts back, the ground trembling beneath our feet.

"I get your fears about pack life," she says softly after a long pause.

"But there are monsters among all of us...both human and wolf.I would not be where I am today were it not for River Moon.Evan laugh again when I thought I never would.

Rosalie taught me strength.

She’s the reason I learned to love myself and my body after years of hating everything about me.

Carter and Gwen taught me loyalty.

They had faith in me long before I did.

And Oliver? He’s loved me unconditionally with all my flaws.He’s patient and gentle with me even when I can’t stand myself.He’s there when I need him most.He’s my everything.

Packs aren’t all bad.

Sometimes you just have to leave one to find where you truly belong.I left Lluvia Blanca and found my home in River Moon.

Packs aren’t exclusive to werewolves.

They exist in every relationship you forge.

You’ve left Silver Crest and found a new pack, one made up of your friends and allies

“Gwen, your loyal companion and Kota, your most precious gift, Nikki and Micah, your friends who have supported you always, and Mrs.Henry who stays open later to help out a young single mother struggling with her late shifts.All of them make up your pack.Zane and Agnes...they are just two rogues looking to be accepted by their new alpha...You."

She slowly rises to her feet, taking a few steps towards me.

I flinch and try to step away, not wanting to accept her words despite knowing their truth.

"I don’t expect you to let go of your hatred for us overnight.Like I said, I understand your fear very well," she says as she gently rests her hands on my shoulders.

"But I hope to show you that not all wolves are cruel." with pack life.

Could I truly trust the words of another wolf?

 "You remind me of me when I first arrived at River Moon," she sighs, wiping the bitter tears on my face.

"Can I show you something?"

Before I can respond, she flicks her wrist, a portal opening before my eyes.

From where I stand, I can make out a lake and several buildings in progress in the distance.

Aurora tries to take my hand but I flinch away as I keep my eyes on the portal.

"It’s okay," she soothes, her kind eyes meeting mine with sincerity.

Reluctantly, I allow her to lead me through the portal and find myself in a completely different territory.

"Where are we?" I ask, looking around and taking in the new scenery.

The new area looks like a construction site, hundreds of wolves carrying equipment and building materials for different projects.

There’s also a large group of women gathered by the lake.

By the looks of it, they are in the middle of a yoga session.