I close the door behind me when I step into the room sighting as the reality hit me, I stand with my back to the door, breathing heavily as I heard my friend giggle outside the door as she and Jacky left for school. I'm so happy for her, I'm so grateful that's she happy unhappy like me.
I scratch with my hand through my hair, and slide down to the ground with my legs close together with my face bend on my knees, I scream out all the pain, guilt, stress, all mix emotionally feelings that overwhelmed me out of my system as I finally cry my eyes out.
"Oh heavenly father, please help me, lead me through this path and guard me for I need you now", I silently pray in my heart still feeling my warm tears on my face.
I know I was wrong but why don't they see my point of view, I just need to get out of here, I miss home my own bed and now I must hide in this room this big house full of vampires and a mate who doesn't even glance at me for one second.
I wasn't able to sit into this position when I felt a cramp in one of my legs as I try to stand up and throw myself on the soft bed that was covered with a beautiful black blanket with white straps in between. I lay on my back with my eyes fix on the white pattern ceiling, my mind drift off to Brenda's face expression this morning during breakfast. Damn was she hot, and it was turning me on even thou she wasn't talking to me.
She is so angry at me that she even has my place at the table been replace by her daughter, who also didn't even glance at me like always. I felt the guilt running down my body, a tear roll down my cheeks as I can't explain how I'm exactly feeling. I did apologize even thou I know they weren't exactly going to forgive me just yet and I'm not going to stay here any longer.
I have over stayed my welcome, I felt the change in the room this morning when I entered the dining room, everything suddenly changed, Brenda suddenly didn't wanna have her breakfast and since I'm going to spoiled the mood everytime I'm going to walk up on them I rather pack my things and left, so that they can be happy.
I gathered my things that I haven't already packed yet in my suitcase and put it in my suitcase and check for more things Im not willing to leave behind. I don't know if this is really what I exactly want but with Brenda ignoring me, I can't stay here anymore. I need to be me and enjoy life, I'm still young and not able to be a house wife just yet. I don't know what I'm going to do with all the things that has happened this few months and the things I knew about supernaturals, its still so shocking for me but I guess I have to pull through this. But how Will I ever over come the fact that Brenda said that we are not save yet to go home what does she exactly mean by that.
There was a knock on the door wiping away my tears when I see my mother walk in with a plate in her hands looking in my direction with concern and worried in her eyes, making me more sad to see her like this and all because of my stupidness.
"Darling", she said walking up to me. She take my hand in hers and lead us to the bed to sit down. You didn't have breakfast so I thought bringing it here, since I have heard you going to study from the exams", she said looking at me.
"I Humm, yes mom it's better if I just continue with school, which I really don't know if I'm sure about it. I have so much on my shoulders", I told her biting on my lower lip trying not to cry as sadness took over.
"My baby", she said taking my face into her warm hands turning my head to face her, I relaxed into her soft warm touch my eyes land on her beautiful brown obrs smiling at me as she put my lose hair behind my ear, I know my baby and I'm here for you if you need anything if you want to talk mommy loves you, you know that right? she asked me furrowed her eyes at me.
I look at her and smile, "I know MA and I love you too, is just everything is to much for me I can take this fighting of Brenda and the others. I don't even get a chance to go out been my self, when did I ever took chrissy out since she's here when mom? I shouted a little hard standing up from bed and pacing around with my hands on my hips.
"Darling", my mother sigth as I turn to look at her, "why don't you talk to Brenda about what you feel and what you want and stop fighting, is there even a normal conversation between you too because all I can see is that you two have been always fighting you guys are busy hurting LJ in the process", she spoke looking at me.
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