Triplet Alphas Gifted Luna novel Chapter 23

Ch 23 Not Enough 

ALARIC’S POV

I went to my old room. I remembered the nursery we shared when we were very young. I remember the day they split us apart and put us in our own rooms. We all left our new rooms that first night and climbed into Thea’s bed. We didn’t sleep in our new rooms for years. We only used them to shower and change clothes. Otherwise, we were in Thea’s room.

I remembered when we started having wet dreams and morning wood. We were horrified. Embarrassed. It was difficult to hide. We didn’t know what was happening to our bodies at first, and we didn’t have control over it. We knew we had to hide it from Thea. 

At first, we tried waking up and getting out of bed before she woke up, but we didn’t always wake up in time. I told my brothers we couldn’t sleep with her anymore. Conri and Kai suggested we start dating her immediately. Then we could tell her about being turned on and what that made our bodies do.

Then we could still sleep with her.

I convinced them that we had to wait until she was ready. She had to make the first move. We were the future Alphas. If she wasn’t ready, if she didn’t have romantic feelings yet, she could feel like she didn’t have a choice. She had to do what her Alphas wanted. It would taint our relationship. If we had to, we could wait until we shifted and the matebond kicked in on her end, but we wouldn’t destroy our relationship before it had a chance to blossom.

I wondered if we started too soon. Maybe we should have waited until our birthdays. I don’t know why we felt the pull of the matebond from day one, and she didn’t. Just another reason I felt like I wasn’t enough for her.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard her knock on the door. Thea came in and laid next to me on the bed. It hurt to have her so close when I couldn’t have her for real.

“I didn’t realize this would have such an effect on all of you. Will you tell me what you’re feeling?” she said.

I didn’t know where to start or if any of it would make a difference, but she deserved an answer. It took a moment to sort my feelings.

“I’m feeling hurt. I feel like I’ll never be enough. You’re my world, and I’m not yours. I’m not important. I’m not the one you want.”

She sat up and looked at me. “Oh, Ric, you’re wrong.”

I met her eyes.

“Where is this coming from? Why do you feel that way?” Thea said.

“Maybe because I’ve loved you since I can remember, and you never seemed interested. For so long, I’ve wanted to kiss you, hold your hand, make you moan, hear you say my name when you're turned on, and you never gave the slightest hint that you wanted that from me.”

“I did, Ric. I do. I’ve wanted you to kiss me, touch me, do anything to my marking spot,” Thea said. She bit her lip.

“Do you know how many times I’ve touched myself thinking about you? I imagine us in bed together, you laying on top of me, feeling your weight on me. I thought I wasn’t allowed to have those feelings, so I hid them.”

“Really?” I studied her face. She looked sincere.

“We’re so similar. Both of us were waiting for the other to make a move. I’ve been pining for you in secret for as long as I can remember. Your calm confidence is such a turn-on. You always know what’s right and do the right thing. I know I can count on you. I see and appreciate all you do for me, for the pack, for everyone. I trust you. I admire you. You’re so perfect. It means so much that you’ re even interested in me. Being intimate with you makes me have all kinds of fluttery feelings inside.”

“Me too.” I couldn’t help smiling.

“You’re right, though,” Thea said. 

“I don’t show you enough what you mean to me. Maybe we need to start scheduling alone time. We’re always all together, but if we were alone, I could show you better what you mean to me.”

“That sounds nice,” I said.

“I want so badly for us to be mates.”

“I know we’re mates.”

“Okay,” Thea said. “If you say we’re mates, I believe you.”

“Just like that?”

“I trust you. I trust your judgment. You always do the right thing. You always know what’s right. I should’ ve seen it before. If you believe it, so do I.” I needed to feel her. I pulled her on top of me.

“I love you, Thea. I need you. We fell apart today, I fell apart, and you were absolutely fine. Goddess, it felt like I was dying. That’s always how it goes. We need you, but you don’t need us.”

“No, Ric. I pretend to be okay without you guys. I thought I had to. It was practice for when you all got other mates. Being so far away from you all day was awful. Every part of me ached for you. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted you with me. I love you so much. I’m so sorry I caused you pain. I never want you to feel or believe that you're not enough. You’re so much more than enough. You’re everything. It feels like my heart can’t contain the love I have for you, like it’s going to burst out of my chest.”

“Yeah?” Goddess, those words meant everything to me.

“Yeah.”

“I like this alone time thing. Tell me more,” I said. | “When I think about you, goddess, no, I can’t say it.” She blushed and hid her face in my chest.

“Tell me.” I needed to see her beautiful face. I lifted her head to face me. Her lips were so perfect. I traced them with my thumb.

“When I think about you, I want you to put a pup inside me.”

My heart skipped a beat. I rolled to the side and put Thea on her back. My hand went to her belly, where our pups would grow. Where we’d feel them kick. Thea closed her eyes and smiled. Sighed. It was the best sight and sound in the world.

“You think about that?” I said.

“Yeah. I think about how it would feel to have your pup growing in my belly. How it would feel to have you comforting me and helping me through labor. How your face would look when you hold our pup in your arms.” She opened her eyes and looked into mine. 

“Do you think about ite”

“All the time,” I said. 

”There are times I look at you, and I see a miniature version of you, turquoise eyes and chestnut hair, running around, jumping into my arms. She’d beat up her brothers, boss them around. I see her on your hip, holding onto you while you go about your business as Luna. I’ve seen her scrape her knee and come crying to us. We comfort her, wipe her tears, clean her up.” I put my forehead against hers. 

“You want to have my pups?”

She put her hand over mine on her belly.

“I want to have your pups. You’ll make the best father.” :

My heart fluttered. Goddess. Of all the people in the world, hearing that from Thea meant everything. She brought out the best in me. She made me feel like a man. I wanted to provide for her and keep her safe, healthy, and happy. My hand slid around her hip, squeezed, and pulled her closer to me.

“I want you so bad, Ric. I want you to make love to me.”

My heart raced. “What about waiting until we shift?” I said.

“We’re mates, right?” I nodded. “That’s what I was waiting for. I trust you.”