Chapter Sixty-Three
I wake up to a foot in my face. And the tickle of hair beneath my nose.
My daughter is curled against my side, her hair a tangled mess around my face.
The foot belongs to my son. His head is at the bottom of the bed, where his arms wrap around Cam’s wolf form. His legs point at me.
It’s still early in the morning. Too early to want to get up.
Cam’s head swings toward me bemusedly.
Jace is back. I need to go check on Merilee. Are you okay?
I nod.
He slides from the bed and pauses beside the door. Cam may be in his wolf form, but his movements are decidedly human. He tilts his head, seeing the three of us curled up on bed. He stays there for a few seconds as if he’s committing the sight of us to memory.
The very idea of us being a real family after all these years is almost impossible to believe.
I like the idea of it. I didn’t have a normal childhood, and I want my kids to have a stronger foundation if they can.
My daughter makes the faintest snoring sound and it’s so stinkin’ adorable I gather her closer and kiss her head.
She smells like baby shampoo and sunshine.
I know these days of cuddles and closeness won’t last forever. And I need to soak up every moment I can with them.
I close my eyes and settle in, hoping the kids will sleep late and we can enjoy this bit of quiet.
“Why didn’t you come to Pop-Pop’s to see us?”
It’s my daughter. Her eyes are still closed.
“Mommy was so exhausted after the trip with Daddy, I had to rest a bit.”
My daughter opens her eyes and when she stares at me, the look in her eyes makes me feel like dirt. “You could’ve seen us first and then rested.”
She’s hurt.
I suck a breath. “Sweetheart, mommy loves you!”
“If you loved me, you would’ve come straight home. Instead of coming here.”
I want to cry.
She’s hurt and lashing out and though both my children are mature for their ages, they are still very young. However, I can’t go down that spiral of trying to explain. On the surface, that might seem like an easy solution, but saying I was sick or sad or needed alone time…there is no version of the truth that won’t make her more upset or stressed.
“Oh my baby,” I tell her, dragging her even closer for a tighter hug. I try to find the words… “Mommy is very sorry. I thought I was making the right choice. But I was wrong. I won’t make that mistake again.” I hold up my finger. “Pinky promise. I’ll communicate better.”
We twist fingers on it and she’s content. She snuggles in again and puts her head on my chest.
I listen to the steady sound of her heartbeat.
My son’s breathing changed the moment Jacelyn started talking, so I know Aaron is awake, but he’s listening and processing. And if I’m being honest, I’m really glad they didn’t tag team me on this.
“I love you, my babies,” I whisper. “Let’s cuddle a little longer, then I’ll make some pancakes.”
“With chocolate chips,” Aaron says.
He knows chocolate chip pancakes are a rare treat.
“To make up for not seeing us,” he goes on.
Wow, that’s a lot of guilt. “Well played, my son.”
He giggles. So does Jacelyn.
They laugh and laugh and the sound is like a melody.
It brings the first real smile to my face.
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