Under a Starless Sky novel Chapter 85

The ziggurat wasn’t more impressive in person. If pushed, Shen would have said it seem more mundane than his other experiences of it. He found flaws in the stone, and likely would have removed some of the vines that had taken over. There was stone interlaced with gold bricks, quartz size bricks of various colors, and silver bricks; there was evidence that some of the gold bricks had been pulled from the pattern and replaced with shaped river stones- it stood out like spinach on teeth. They landed against the terrace and boats were tied. It took six boats in all to bring party and gifts to Sinter. There was a party awaiting. Lanore greeted the Rainbow Guardians in a ritualistic way. Jerica and Imly were impressed with everything. She was confused that Shen wasn’t.

“I have been before,” Shen said.

“No you haven’t,” Lanore said.

“Malkovich,” Shen reminded her.

Lanore paled. She rushed him to sleep him. Jerica and Imly went to block but Imly was blocked by Tell and Neva, and Jerica blocked by TL. Éliane, Talatu, and Boa intervened. Lanore stopped just shy of touching him.

“L’Ma,” Éliane said, standing full in front of her, her hand on her shoulder. “He is charged. Your role in this is to bring him before Sinter.”

“And I will- broken and bruised,” Lanore said.

“You no longer hold this authority,” Éliane said. “You surrendered that when you anathematized him and sent him wandering.”

“Now we must clean up your slack,” Boa said.

Lanore slapped her forehead and sent her to sleep. No one caught her. She hit the gold, brick floor.

“So, now what, mother?” Tama asked. “Do we wait for her to wake, carry her, or proceed without her?”

“You will address me as L’Ma, or I will sleep you, too,” Lanore said.

“There is no need to be adversarial,” Tama said. “You’ve already won. There is only one way for this to end. Nothing I, or anyone else, syas will change what’s about to happen.”

Lanore pointed at Shen, unable to get close enough to slap him. “This is your fault! You have brought us to this, destroyed our family. I wish you had never been born. I should have drowned you like a rat when I had the chance.”

Shen was not numb, he was hurting, but he contained it; he imagined he looked immune. His response was connected to a past event, very similar in play. He heard echos inside himself screaming, ‘what the hell did I ever do to you to warrant this level of hatred.’ He heard a myriad of potential scripted responses, trying to find one suitable to bring out. This path led to increase drama and histrionics- so he surrendered to silence. There was a modality for deescalating emotionally driven scenarios known as SAMA- Satori Alternatives to Managing Aggression; he had never seen it fail, except, he had never used it while also being emotionally charged. He had never used it on himself. He had yet to find his center, but he asked, spoke gently:

“I see you pointing at me, the energy coming at me. You’re angry with me.”

“Yes I am angry! The world is going to end because of you!” Lanore said.

A part of him wanted to argue semantics, end or change… He kept to the protocol. “You’re angry because I am the white god of death, harbinger of the end,” Shen said. “I bring change.”

“Yes!” Lanore said.

“That makes sense then, that you’re bringing me to trial,” Shen said. “The thing that confuses me, mother, is that your anger persists even though you’re doing the correct action.”

Lanore shed tears. “You’re an idiot. I didn’t want this. I wanted you to go live a quiet life, to fit in somewhere, and just be content. Why can’t you just be? Why can’t you just accept things?”

“You’re sad because you wanted me in your world and I failed to adapt,” Shen said.

“Yes,” Lanore said.