Maybe I had truly gone crazy. Or maybe, just maybe, that extremely selfish person was exactly who I used to be.
Ashton was no longer at the hotel. After I had washed up and was getting ready to leave, John knocked on my door.
Furrowing his eyebrows as he looked over my pale, sallow complexion, he asked, “You didn’t sleep well last night?”
“No.” I massaged my temples, shaking my head. “Is there any news about Summer?”
He made an affirmative sound, gesturing towards the room in a silent request to continue this conversation inside.
Stepping aside, I let him in and closed the door behind him, walking over to sit on the sofa.
He poured out a glass of water for himself, glancing at me. “Are you happy with Ashton?”
“John, I thought you were here to talk about Summer.” I narrowed my eyes, a little upset at the new topic.
Coughing awkwardly, he reached up to rub his nose. “It’s true that I came here to talk about Summer. But you are the most important thing to me right now. Summer has Ashton, the Crest family, and the Stovall family. So, let’s talk about you first, okay?”
I squirmed uneasily under his intense stare, licking my dry lips. “What do you mean?”
“Just answer me.”
“Ashton and I have always been fine.”
“I was asking if you were happy, not if your relationship with him is fine or not.”
Now he was just being nit-picky. Irritated, I rolled my eyes. “Tell me, John: what is happiness?”
Life was all a huge, long-winded story. Every story had to have its ups and downs.
What was the meaning of happiness? If happiness could only be defined by how cheerful you felt in your daily life, wasn’t that definition too narrow-minded?
John sat up straight, sighing. “Letty, I’m not sure that you understand happiness more than I do. You don’t want to answer my question because your relationship with Ashton is starting to make you feel burdened and depressed. Deep in your heart, you still hold a grudge against him and resent him, don’t you?”
I stared blankly at the glass of water in front of me. “What are you trying to say?”
“Either you cut off all contact with him, or you go to the hospital and receive psychotherapy before restarting your relationship with him. This ambiguous situation between you two is not healthy.”
Ambiguous?
I didn’t even know what was wrong with myself anymore. All I knew was there was something wrong with me.
I was often unable to control my temper and apathy.
Years’ worth of hurt and pain had never been once been healed properly. I’d only ever hidden my scars away and threw my nightmares to the back of my mind, leaving them for the future me to deal with. On the surface, I appeared fine, but one small poke at my wounds and you’d be able to see how rotten they’d become.
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