You Saved Me Once Book 1 novel Chapter 50

The entire ride home, Hayes’s head leaned against my shoul-der. He slept the entire ride, I didn’t. I couldn’t.

My high had completely worn off, and now I’m just left with a headache, a bruised body, and sticky wet clothes that didn’t belong to me.

My mind was turning on me, as if I wasn’t already going through enough. I know it’s just my mind fucking with me, but it was really fucking me over to the point where I was convinced. I’d con-vinced myself that everything that happened today, was my fault.

Before I can try to mentally fix what my mind had morphed, we’d arrive at my house.

Everyone else gets out of the car. It’s just Hayes and I in the back seat, car lights beaming on my mess. I hang my head, and stare at the black floor in fear of those outside of the car. I pretend to be asleep when Adam opens the door on my side.

“Alex, we’re here.” He whispers to me, accompanied by a soft poke.

I raise my head slowly and look at him.

“Can you just take Hayes inside, please?” I beg.

I just felt so weak, but not tired.

I felt defeated.

This defeat felt like I lost all parts of what made up the person I am. Stripped me so bare that I didn’t know how to act, feel, or live.

“Okay Alex. After, will you um…you’ll go inside the house, right?” He still whispers. There’s so much sadness in his voice I start to whimper but cover my mouth.

“You bet.” I smile.

He tells me he loves me, before walking over to Hayes and wak-ing him up. I hear Hayes grunt, them his mumbling slowly fades, so I know that they made it inside the house.

I sit in the car for a what felt like hours, until Rochelle taps on the glass.

She opens the door and frowns at me.

“I’m sorry Alex.” She states.

“Y-you didn’t tell Jeff, did you?!?” I panic.

“Why would I fucking do that silly. I WOULD NEVER.” She states.

She passes me a clean shirt, and some pants. She must’ve grabbed those things from my room when I was zoned out in the back seat. Instantly, everything becomes lighter with items that was the old me. Without realizing, the tension over my entire body lifts, I hadn’t noticed the weight until now. I look at Rochelle with the sincerest face, on the verge of tears. Without exchanging words, I give her a hug, now uncontrollably crying.

“I’m so sorry Alex.” She states again.

“I’m sorry Rochelle… you’re too good for me. I love you; you know?” I state.

“Don’t they all?!?” She insists, we both laugh.

“You change, I’ll be right outside… if you need anything.” She states. I nod my head and followed it with a genuine smile.

Once I finished changing, I find enough strength both physical-ly and mentally to get out the car, to face Lorene, Rochelle, and Jeff.

They were standing outside for a while conversing amongst themselves. Knowing that Jeff was willing to drive an hour to me, con-sole in me without explanation, defend me, drive another hour back and still wait for me to be ready to explain the entire situation. Honest-ly, his determination for me, makes me so attracted to him. Although, I don’t think it’s just his might and patience. I think Jeff has love for me. Do I have love for him?

I walk up to a tired Jeff, who can still give me a genuine smile at 3 in the morning.

“How are you feeling?” He asks.

“Better, thank you.” I say. I smile to him, but he seems off.

“You okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, just a little tired. It’s fine though.” He says.

I believe that he’s tired, we’re all tired. However, there was something else off about him. He could be high.

“Are we going to just stand out here until sunrise?” He laughs.

I want him to come inside the house with me. I want him to lay by my side and hold me. I want him to keep me warm, stop my thoughts. I just think I don’t have enough confidence in myself to be the same Alex he loves right now.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea right now.” I state.

“Did I do something in the car, was I going too far? Are you mad at me? Is it me?” He asks.

“N-no.” I stutter in sadness.

“Then it’s him.” He sighs.

This comment hurts more than expected, I’m holding my breath again.

“I’m just really tired Jeff. I think I’m going to just go inside and sleep.” I lie. Jeff sighs under his breath.

“With him?” He asks.

My stomach drops, chills coat my back.

“What??? No... He can barely walk on his own. W-why would you say that?” I panic.

Should I just tell him, and everyone outside why I could never be with Hayes in that way? Just to make Jeff stay, should I just tell him all my secrets right here, right now?