Zero and Beauty's Breath (A Satan Sniper's Motorcycle Club Series Book 3 - 4) novel Chapter 24

“We have Chocolate and Caramel, I think they out of the Very Berry Yogurt,” Jade says from behind me, “But Knight said he'd ask Killer to pick some up on his way back this afternoon.”

It's almost two weeks that I am back with The Satan Snipers. Every day I'm here is another day I worry about Kylie.

Killer says she's alive, but how alive is she.

I asked him if she was fine, I already knew she was breathing.

Killer's answer is always the same, when the time was right he'll take me to see her. That doesn't ease my mind, don't think seeing her would do it either. But neither does the alternative.

I've grown close to Kylie, more after she was taken from that room. One would think it was those nights we shared a bed together that brought me closer to her. Honesty can't ever be that simple.

Watching those videos as they tortured her is what bonded me to her. Watching her suffer as I had once, over and over again, made my anger almost suffocating.

I lived in the memory of what she suffered, still do.

Only now when my mind strays to my own past- her suffering as she screamed my name, begging me to kill her is what keeps me grounded.

Kylie is part of my past, present, and imminent future. She is my reality, a strong reminder of what happens if I don't stop Lucca, if I fail to kill the last two people on the list.

“Bee, do you want Chocolate or Caramel,” Hannah asks me as my hand brushes the turtle neck I am wearing to hide my scars.

The woman refuses to call me Beggar. She isn't many years older than I am but she has a short temper, one of those girly kinds that Spade calls a temper tantrum.

“Both.”

Since I got here, a lot has happened.

First, I finally met River, the new president of the Kanla Chapter without the added people around.

While we never got down to the real questions he wanted to ask, the message was clear- I stay here and keep a low profile for now.

He has since taken up the part of an irritant complainer.

He is a no-bullshit man, I respect that. He reminds me of an older Zero, moodier, bigger, and scarier, but a true hero underneath it all.

Spade said Killer told them to give me a few days to breathe and he'd let them fight him three to one. Which he did, and he wasn't too chuffed about Spade, After and Zero fucking him up together.

I only watched the last half of it before Mercy stole me away for a trip to KFC. It was a good thing too, when we got back Quinn was all over Zero in the lounge faffing like he was a baby.

Once those days wore off, I had eight men at my beck and call. The shit didn't feel right and I said as much.

I told them they should be pissed after what I did. Spade said life was like a waterfall, in order to keep remaining, it needs a continuous flow of water.

He said that was the way life worked. Snake walked in and said it was all just water under a bridge. A new day, same bridge, no point going on about the fucking water.

Still, I apologized after the first week when I got to walking.

My mother said apologizing was a waste of time because it didn't change why you were apologizing in the first place.

Only this time, I knew apologizing wasn't meant to change the past but more to flatten the bumpiness of the present and maybe even pave a smoother road for the future.