Zero and Beauty's Breath (A Satan Sniper's Motorcycle Club Series Book 3 - 4) novel Chapter 28

Now, I just want Zero to tell me what he needs to. I want to tell him how I thought about him, how I never stopped regretting the way he found out about me.

I want to tell him how I wish that we met years ago before I fell at the feet of a beautiful creature and got myself trapped under a false sense of perfection.

I wish to tell him the facts of my life, the ugly truth that I was never meant to remain a permanent fixture in his life, that I would always just be the woman he once knew.

But the longer I stand here, facts are just that- facts.

I open my mouth to the things I have thought to say. Words I want him to hear, confessions I feel he needs, but my wants become stuck.

And the one thing I have tried to crush since I first met Zero hits me that if I was another woman the force of it would have me on my hands and knees.

The need for him to accept me is so potent. But doubt is ugly 'cause it is there reminding me of what I can't have, let alone from a hero like Zero.

But hope is a fool's courage, and I believe those words, and live by them.

Only now, as I am faced with this man, who owns the final piece of me I want to be a fool, even knowing that it won't guarantee shit. Even knowing that our stars only touched. It exploded, and for that time my dim light became so bright, showed me a glimpse of heaven.

A taste of something I was never meant to have, the goodness of love was meant for pure souls, not a filthy one like my own.

So my words don't come as they should. Instead, they come from somewhere deep in me, a place I convince myself doesn't exist,

“I keep thinkin' you'd wanna talk about us, what I did, but you avoid me, why?.”

“There is no us Beggar, never has been. You should have read the letter, save yourself all this thinking.” His words are meant to hurt me, but I have been a woman scorned far worst than a woman rejected.

So it just angers me, something I started feeling when Lucca gave Kylie to his men so they could rape and torture her.

She survived, but I wonder how much of her soul survived with her. It stirs up this fire deep in me, and anger I sometimes want to unleash.

It takes a lot to simmer it down, but I keep managing, knowing soon it will blow.

“If you gonna tell me a lie, do it to my face, if you want to reject me don't do it with words on a paper. I'm standing right here Zero,” my voice sounds like someone is scraping at my throat with sandpaper.

I hate the sound, it is a reminder of my one day in hell. The same Hell Kylie experienced twenty-one times over for three weeks.

Only Zero once whispered how he liked my fucked up voice, he said it made his dick so hard.