Zero and Beauty's Breath (A Satan Sniper's Motorcycle Club Series Book 3 - 4) novel Chapter 8

Dear Beauty

I think I lost the number of times I have sat on this very mountain, with this very book, and pen writing to you. It's been months since I've seen you.

I admit for a while I was angry, hurting, I felt as if you betrayed me. Part of me still does. At least now I know why.

A few weeks after you left I didn't see an end to this hell I was in without you. The club was divided. Some wanted you dead, others wanted you safe. But time does heal.

At first, I couldn't breathe without a thought of you. My hate and anger were all focused on you in the day and my nights were spent mourning you, hoping you would come back.

Our new president River and Killer finally stepped forward and told us the truth of why you did what you did, they also told us about the deal your cousin made with us.

Why they didn't tell us sooner I wonder.

Falon tried to rekindle our relationship once I explained to her about you and I. But then I was adamant that I was a taken man, even if you did betray me.

I guess my wounds were still fresh. And well I guess one can't rekindle something that wasn't really there.

Before you she was what I knew, but the day I met you, you were more than just knowing, you showed me feelings. You brought out things in me that I left buried deep inside. I convinced myself that you were mine.

It took me leaving my family behind to see what you were always trying to tell me.

You were never mine. We were on borrowed time. You always knew that he'd find you.

Guess you always knew because of those chains you said that bind you to him.

You once said that who you were wasn't important but it became the most important part of why you left.

He was your past, and I guess he became your future too.

Once I figured that out, I stopped questioning things, asking myself if you were here, how would I change things. If I could make it all be okay.

Truth is, there is never going to be an okay. Our story was dying before it even began. Even if I wanted to fight, it would be a losing battle, you said so yourself.

My brother Thorn is set on revenge, he wants you dead and I am sure wherever you are the feeling is mutual.

Why? I don't know. Don't care.

You see before I left my club and my brothers and the women behind I made a promise like all of them, a promise to find you and protect you and that is what I would do.

Today I found out that soon I will be making my way back home, with another medal of honor for serving my country that I would put in a box and forget about.

I am also returning home with a clear conscience. And finally letting my feelings for you go. I'm going to move on with my life.

Time is a continuous reminder of life. When I was younger It was a reminder to live life. When I got older I found out that life could be lived in different ways. And I am choosing to live mine without you playing a front row to it.