Accidental Surrogate for Alpha novel Chapter 166

Ella

After leaving our rooms I sneak down to the kitchens, hoping the palace chef will take pity on me. My stomach is grumbling with a hunger so fierce I feel dizzy, but the last thing I want right now is to be social. I love my family and King Gabriel is growing on me by the day, but faking smiles and pretending I haven’t just had the biggest fight in the history of my relationship with Sinclair sounds absolutely dreadful.

I’m not sure why this fight feels so much worse than the ones before. After all, we got through Lydia’s attempted assault and fake pregnancy, as well as countless other small battles about Sinlcair’s overprotectiveness, my defiance, and shared communication failings. Still, this is the first time since we met that Sinclair has suggested we separate for any length of time, and maybe that’s the real reason I’m so hurt.

I probe my own feelings for fears of abandonment or doubts about his devotion, and I’d be lying if I said I came up entirely empty. Part of me, a very small and irrational part, does fear that Sinclair might not return for me if he goes away. An even larger and more ridiculous part of me wonders if he’s leaving me behind because the magic has faded now that we’re officially mated.

You’re right. That is ridiculous. Sinclair growls in my head, and I realize I accidentally projected my fears through our bond again. My mate sounds furious at the very notion, and apparently he was so affronted by this idea that he couldn’t stay silent. You know how crazy I am for you, trouble. You know I’ll always come back. You put those doubts out of your gorgeous head this instant.

Get out of my thoughts! I order bitterly, trying to imagine a great granite wall shutting over our mental link. I’m not sure if it works entirely, but Sinclair doesn’t speak again. I return my focus to my tangled emotions, and though I am a bit hurt that my mate can stand the idea of being away from me, I quickly confirm that my greatest upset is due to his lack of support. I believe I can handle the challenges of this journey and that it’s important for my wolf to get experience in the real world – so why doesn’t he? Does he really believe I’m so weak that I’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble?

Baby, I told you it isn’t like that. Sinclair chimes in again, and I feel the full weight of his hatred for the idea of separating us, as well as his love and belief in my abilities. I just need you to be safe. If we can get through this we’ll have a lifetime of opportunities for you to–

I said get out! I repeat angrily, imagining a giant lock on the granite wall, and mentally slamming the bolt into the ground before wrapping it up in thick chains. I’m still not sure if it fixed the problem, so I decide to test my sneaky mate. Dominic, I want you to know you’re a great big dummy. You smell terrible and your wolf has fleas.

Silence. Beautiful, utter tranquility. Finally. I think in exasperation. I know blocking the bond with Sinclair will get easier the more I practice, but now it takes almost all of my strength in order to keep him out. As I pass the dining room on my way to the kitchens, I hear Roger and Cora talking in tense voices. I slow down, feeling both guilty for eavesdropping but also impossibly curious about their conversation. I haven’t had a chance to ask my sister about the tension between them yet, but it’s so palpable that you’d have to be blind to miss it.

Roger’s husky voice floats through the door, and I can hear one racing heartbeat and another, much steadier one. “So what will it be, Cora? Do you want to surrender now? Or do you want to keep pretending like you don’t feel this thing between us?”

I press my hand over my mouth to smother my gasp. I can’t believe Cora hasn’t told me that Roger has been pursuing her this way. I thought it had just begun, but from the sounds of it this has been building for a while. “Just because you feel something, doesn’t mean I do,” Cora replies, her voice shaking. “And for the record, if you’re going to be chasing after humans you should know we don’t believe the word ‘surrender’ belongs in discussions of romance. It’s generally reserved for battlefields and arrest warrants.” She adds primly.

A few months ago I would have agreed with her, the word surrender used to evoke images of violence and animosity for me. Now it only evokes the blissful release of being at my mate’s mercy, of letting him take control of my body and trusting him to take care of me.

Roger chuckles darkly, his voice going soft and gravelly. “Haven’t you ever heard that love is a battlefield? I’m pretty sure your kind have written entire songs about it.”

“Who said anything about love?” Cora gasps, sounding even more shocked and alarmed than before.

“Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.” Roger murmurs, and I can practically picture him brushing Cora’s hair back from her face. “Or maybe not.” He adds in a low purr, seeming amused by some reaction or expression of hers – perhaps a shiver?

I hear a chair push back from the table, and then Cora’s fleeting voice. “I have to go.”

“No.” Roger objects, sounding gentler now. “You stay, I’ll go.” His footsteps recede into the distance, then pause. In my mind’s eye, I see him turning back for one last look at my sister. “I’m sorry if this caught you off guard, but it’s not in my nature to pretend I don’t have feelings for someone when I do. I’m letting you off easy today because I know this wasn’t easy for you, but don’t expect the same lenience in the future, Cora. Pretend all you want, but I know you feel the same, and I’m not going to let you go without a fight.”

I hear one of the interior doors open and click shut, and once I’m sure Roger is gone I decide that I don’t need to avoid the dining room after all. They clearly weren’t having that conversation in front of a crowd, and I want to check on my sister.