Accidental Surrogate for Alpha novel Chapter 258

Ella

“You’re not my mother?” I whisper, my voice positively tiny.

Looking at Reina, it makes sense. She’s tall and willowy, with black hair, olive skin and dark eyes – just about my polar opposite. I’m recalling Henry telling me that I don’t resemble her or Xavier, so I must take after the Goddess, but I didn’t truly understand how great the dissimilarity was until this moment. It seems a silly question now; of course she’s not my mother. How could she be?

The weight of my crushed hopes batter me from every direction, as if they aren’t simply falling from above, but closing in around me, suffocating and strangulating. They’re all watching me with the same sympathetic expression: Reina, the priests and Roger. Only Cora refuses to pity me, choosing instead to offer our hosts a death stare for upsetting me.

“Ella, please sit down.” Reina pleads, pulling me back over to the fire. “If you’ll listen, we’ll explain everything.”

“Okay.” I manage to utter weakly, reclaiming my seat. “Explain.”

Reina clasps her hands in her lap, taking a deep breath. “When I married Xavier, I had my entire life planned out. I would finish school, wait a year or two before trying for pups, maybe work a little. All in all I expected to spend the first years of my union learning to be a queen and preparing to ascend to the throne in another decade or so. Then Xavier’s father died suddenly and unexpectedly, and all at once my plans fell apart. We were coronated when I was just 22.”

She pauses to sip her tea, and though the flavor is sweet her lips form a grimace. “Xavier and I chose one another. He’d rejected his fated mate and all his parents’ plans for an arranged marriage, and all for me. At the time it was romantic, I felt like I was living a fairytale. And then things changed… or perhaps the problem is that they weren’t changing.” Her eyes drop to my pregnant belly, and the muscle in her cheek twitches. “I had half a dozen miscarriages before the doctors told me to stop trying… they said I’d kill myself if I continued.”

My cheeks are wet, as if her words flipped on a switch in my brain and opened the dam. “I’m so sorry.” I profess, “I know what it’s like to struggle with infertility but I never… I’m just so sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Reina purses her lips, and I wonder if she truly means it. “You wouldn’t be here if I’d been able to conceive, and we would all be the worse for it.”

“I’m still sorry.” I repeat, wanting to hug her but not trusting my ability to get out of my chair without assistance.

“I appreciate that.” Reina replies, softening slightly as she continues with her tale. “Of course, Xavier was at a loss. His greatest responsibility as King was to produce heirs and carry on his bloodline. My inability… my failure made that impossible. We were stuck. Xavier couldn’t reject me – not when I was crowned queen and not after he’d made such a fuss about choosing me in the first place, though he probably should have.” An expression of torment crosses her pretty features. “More than once over the years I’ve thought this all could have been avoided if he hadn’t rejected his fated mate. They would have produced heirs, the monarchy would never have been in threat, and his sons would have taken over when he died.”

“And we’ve reminded Reina that this was all put in motion by much greater forces than the workings of a few power-hungry shifters.” Silas chimes in, using a gentle tone that indicates they’ve discussed this many times indeed. “The God of Darkness has been at work for centuries.”

Reina inhales a steadying breath as she meets Silas’s gaze, nodding in appreciation. “Well, however it came about, that was the beginning of the end for me and Xavier. All the things that had seemed so romantic when we first fell in love… all the sacrifices he made for me… they became naught but resentments. He blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life from then on, and I could see him reframing the things he once loved about me as annoyances.”

Her eyes fall shut, and I can almost feel her pain. “A couple of times when he became very drunk, I caught him looking at me with such hatred in his eyes that I actually worried he might try to kill me just to get me out of the way. It was as if I had become this insurmountable hurdle standing between him and everything he’d ever wanted…” When her lashes rise again they’re wet with tears. “He forgot he wanted me once.”

“So I did the only thing I could,” Reina shrugs, “I prayed. I’d prayed to the Goddess for all my babies, but I’d never felt so utterly desperate. It was no longer simply a matter of wanting to be a mother, it was a matter of my entire future happiness, my marriage and possibly even my survival. I’d never been so low before.” She lifts her eyes heavenward, to the open ceiling and the stars above us. “I never dreamed she would respond in person.”