#Chapter 405 – Balance Ella
“Dominic,” I murmur, reaching for him. “No,” he snaps, taking a step away from me and shaking his head. “You’re taking this too far, Ella – I know you want to help, but Icannot have you putting yourself at risk like this!” He sputters for a moment, turning away from me and hanging his head, bringing a hand up to cover his face.
I reach for him, seeking him through our bond, not understanding this reaction and needing to know –
He opens his heart to me when I gently ask him to through the bond. He lets me see all of his fear, all of his anxiety, all of the guilt that already rolls in him when he even thinksabout the possibility of losing Rafe and I when he could just keep usso safe-
And my heart breaks, for what feels like the eightieth time today, as I stare at my mate’s back, his broad shoulders.
“I’m so sorry, Dominic,” I whisper, closing the distance between us and wrapping my arms around his waist from behind, resting my head against his back, closing my eyes. “I hear you Ifeelyour fear for me. But I…I can’t not do this….”
“Ella,” he says, his voice cracking with the strain of his worry, of not understandingwhyI’m pushing this so hard-
But before he can continue, I let out a deep breath and pass him my own feelings down the bond and along with them, the memories I have from today. Of little Leah, and her sunken pale face, and how fresh her skin looked after I spent an hour holding her hand. And little Philip, who lost a hand, and whose wound was badly infected-
Who will never grow that hand back, but who now will live, and be fitted with a prothesis, and live a full life –
And the memories of adozenother children who I helped – who needme, 1 who aren’tsafeunless I’m there to help them. The bareideathat I would ever, ever give that up, just to keep my own self safe?
It’s absolutely unthinkable to me.
“You’re forgetting who you chose as your mate, Dominic,” I murmur, my arms still wrapped tight around him.” Please, please don’t ask me to turn away from them. Ican’tdo it – not when I’m theonlyone who can help them like this. The only one who can really take away their pain.”
Sinclair turns towards me then, staying so close that I’m able to keep my arms around his waist, and he settles his free arm around my shoulders, Rafe still curled up in his other. As I look up at him I see that his eyes are wet with tears. I reach up a hand to gently wipe away the ones that start to fall down his cheeks. “All right, Ella,” he says, his voice gruff. But then he shakes his head at me, not giving in completely. “I see it now – I understand and…and you’re right, to hold you back from this would be to ask you to betray who you are. And who you are is the reason I love you. I get it.”
I nod, looking up at him, sending a pulse of love and gratitude down our bond. Because I really am just so grateful to be with a man who understands who I really am, down to the core of my being. And more than that a man who is willing to bend, even though he’s never been a particularly pliant person, when I tell him what I need.
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