Accidental Surrogate for Alpha novel Chapter 54

Ella

It takes me a minute to understand what must be happening. The only woman I’ve been near tonight, is the stranger in the restroom. So if I smell like Lydia… that must have been her. It’s no wonder she seemed so mysterious and sad. I feel for her immensely. I know what it’s like to try for years on end to get pregnant with a partner, only for them to succeed with someone else.

Of course, Sinclair didn’t do to her what Mike did to me, they’d been in their struggle together– but it must still hurt. In fact, my pregnancy probably proves the problems they had conceiving were with her, which is devastating for any hopeful mother.

“There was a woman in the restroom.” I tell Sinclair hesitantly. “She helped me, held back my hair.”

“What did she look like?” He demands urgently.

“Dark hair, blue eyes, tall and willowy.” In fact she was my opposite in just about every way, right down to her perfectly manicured nails and custom designer shoes.

Before I can say any more, Sinclair turns and disappears into the crowd, scanning the feast for signs of his ex. My heart falls, faster and harder than I could have believed possible. I can’t believe how painful it is to see him running after her this way, obviously desperate to find her. One mention of Lydia and I might as well not exist. I feel like crumpling in on myself, though I don’t have any right to feel jilted. I’ve known the score from the beginning – Sinclair never pretended otherwise. So why does it hurt so much?

“You should get off your feet.” Henry says kindly, urging me to take my seat. “You still look very pale.” I follow his gesture obediently, not sure how much longer my legs will support me. Sinclair is out of sight now, no doubt chasing down his true mate to convince her to come back to him. I can’t seem to conjure up any words or coherent thoughts, I’m slowly being crushed beneath the weight of my disappointment.

I’m cursing myself for being so silly, for getting my hopes up when I knew better. It’s obvious now I’ve been lying to myself about my feelings for Sinclair, or this wouldn’t be so agonizing. At the same time, It’s irrefutable proof that I was right not to get involved with him. I was right to try and protect myself – even though I failed. I can’t imagine how much worse this would be if I’d actually started a relationship with him.

Stop this, the little voice in my head scolds. You’re overreacting, he just went after her, you have no idea what he’s thinking. You’re assuming the worst because you expect to be let down.

I expect it with good reason. I reply bitterly. I learned the hard way, remember?

Sinclair is different. She insists. He’s special and he cares about you.

He cares about the pup. I correct her. He’s protective of me for its sake and he might be grateful to me for carrying it, but I’ll never be a she-wolf. I’ll never be in his league and we both know it.

That’s your insecurity talking, not your brain. Think of the way he compliments you! You’re more than just a surrogate to him. She presses.

And the moment I deliver this baby, I guarantee I’ll cease to warrant his attention. I predict grimly. Just you wait and see.

Before my conscience can reply there’s movement in my periphery, and a new voice joins the conversation.

“I tried to warn you.” Roger appears as if from nowhere, but he obviously saw what happened. “I told you she would always come first to Dominic.”

“Roger, that isn’t fair.” Henry rumbles beside me, giving his eldest son a disapproving glare.

“Oh hello, Father.” Roger quips, turning his attention to the former Alpha. “It’s been too long – I’m surprised you still remember my name.”