After It Happened novel Chapter 8

Kelechi's pov.

One thing I've learnt to do in the 4 years I've been away is to embrace the darkness and become one with it. You try to fight it and it slowly kills you until it ends up winning.

I remember the day my dad left us. We expected it, but the tiny sliver of hope we had became our enemy. It shattered us; it killed me. I had just lost two of the most important people in my life within a week. I remember how the darkness called me every second and I would try to fight it by putting up a cheerful facade. I had to be strong for my mother.

My mom cried for months; I never shed a tear. I tried to be the boy I was before he left, but after sometime I realized the boy was gone. That part of my life was gone forever. I had just been fighting a lost battle.

Giving up to the darkness was relieving. I basked in its cold emptiness. I made a lot of bad choices in the past 4 years and I don't really regret them. I only regret how my mom watched me slowly kill myself. It killed her too; I saw it in her eyes everyday. She didn't hate me, she couldn't. But she tried hard everyday to understand and accept me, but she failed every single time.

I didn't tell her about the demons I battled every day, every minute they judged me, every second I was misunderstood and condemned. I couldn't let her know that I wasn't as strong as I proved to be, but she found out when I hit rock bottom. I regret the worst decision I've ever made because I realized I was selfish, but I also don't because that's the reason my mom is happy right now. My almost destruction brought her revival.

My mom has gotten her cure. I see it in her eyes. Even I, in the past four years, haven't seen my mom smile the way she does when she sees him. I'll admit I'm jealous, but I'm no monster to deny my mom of her only chance at happiness. I know I'm a jerk most times, but I feel it's better that way. I don't care that my step-dad looks at me like he wants to beat the hell out of me sometimes or that my annoying stepsister is always complaining about everything I do.

When I wore the ridiculous white, red and black uniform on my first day in the new school, I was eager for new beginnings. Maybe my life could get a little bit brighter and I won't feel like so cold and empty. What I never expected was seeing her. My past. The life I thought and wish I had forgotten, but apparently I remember every single detail. Olanna with her bright smile, her big heart, her beautiful eyes.