Alpha alec's redemption (Sadie) novel Chapter 105

Alec.

Regret. Regret. Regret.

That’s the one fucking emotion that no one ever wants to feel. One of the emotions that has the ability to gut you and leave you hating yourself for the shit you did.

I look at my daughter and my heart hurts. I almost killed her. I hurt her mother. I lost three years with her. She doesn’t know who the hell I am or just how important she already is to me.

To her, I am no one but a stranger. Someone staying in their pack. Someone who doesn’t have an impact on her life. I am a nobody to her. I doubt I even exist in her little world.

These last couple of weeks, since I learned she’s mine, I’ve watched her. Watched her play. Watched her laugh. Watched her smile. Watched her cry.

I’ve been studying her. Learning about her. Her likes and dislikes. What makes her happy and sad. I’ve watched and studied her personality. She’s an amazing little girl, so full of joy. Sadie really did a great job raising her, because Aspen was an angel through and through.

So many times, I’ve wanted to pull her into my arms and hug her. So many times, I’ve wanted to kiss her rosy cheeks. So many times, I’ve wanted to hold her and just be with her. It has gutted me over and over watching her interacting with King. Watching her run to him when she sees him. Watching her treating him like a father figure. Knowing your daughter doesn’t even recognize you is like a stab to the heart over and over again.

I know that I don’t have anyone to blame, but fuck it. That doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

“Hey, are you okay?” Micah’s voice pulls me from my tumultuous thoughts.