Alpha's Regret-My Luna Has A Son novel Chapter 59

Alpha’s Regret-My Luna Has A Son by Jessicahall Chapter 59

Valen came back a few minutes later with a towel before marching into the bathroom and shutting the door while m uttering under his breath. I heard the shower start and sighed. He had a point, though.

The media would go insane over two mates, especially one holding status in the city but living apart. The scandals it would lead to, and I could only imagine the speculation it would cause and the rift once everyone found out I was, in fact, Alpha John’s daughter.

That was another thing I was also worried about because it would come out. Secrets always do, they never remain hidden, and I know it would all co me out when they dug into my past.

Yet the thought of having to answer to someone irked me, and living with Valen, I knew I would have to, plus he could pull rank over me, yet the stories that would be in the papers. I could already imagine the head lines. ‘Pack rivalry keeping mates apart.’

‘Valen’s cheating ways’ ‘Trouble with the notorious Alpha’ stupid shit and that would be stacked on top of the ‘Everly the gold digger trapping the Alpha.’ ones. F*ck! I never thought of the different scenarios, and now they appeared end less. Valen walked out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He ignored me, and I could feel he was upset.

I chewed my lip before getting up off the couch, wandering down the hall toward his bed room, and pushing the door open. Valen was getting ready for bed as he pulled the sheets back. “If you are coming in here to tell me you don’t want to live with me or to give more bullshit excuses, Everly, I don’t want to hear it,” Valen said, climbing in bed and tugging the blankets up. He turned away from me, facing the wall, and I sighed before showering myself and returning to the room.

I rummaged through his closet for a shirt to wear before climbing in bed with him. Through the bond, I could tell he was still festering over our argument and very much awake as he kept his back to me.

“You said earlier you wanted to be my Luna. How do you expect to do that if we live separately?” he said.

“The Alpha meeting is in two days. What do you expect me to tell everyone? Everly and I are mates, but it’s complicated? This isn’t like updating a F******k status Everly; I get you don’t want me to mark you yet, but at least f*cking try,” I remained quiet, pondering over my tho ughts and his words when he rolled over to face me.

“What are you afraid I will do, that you keep refusing to try and make this work?” Valen asked.

There were plenty of things I was afraid of, Valen taking control of ever hing in my life when I only just got some semblance of the normal back in it. I was scared of him taking my son and me losing the hotel and everyone who relies on that place, worried about the rogue woman losing everything when they have no jo bs because I failed them.

But most of all, I was afraid of ending up back in a shitbox car living in the train station parking lot with Valarian. I was scared of losing everything, just like I had. Going back to having nothing and no one, at least with how things are, he can’t control everything. He can’t take it from me.

“Anything I say will sound like an excuse,” I tell him and he sighs.

Unless you had lived with the hopelessness of failing at everything and having no one to rely on, you couldn’t understand how terrifying it is to allow someone else to have even the slightest bit of controI when you worked so hard to get where you are. Moving in with Valen would be trusting him not to break me again, not to take everything I worked hard for away from me, trusting him not to throw me away like trash like my family did.

“Try to explain, I want to understand Everly, no bullshit just tell me,” Valen breathed, frustrated.

“I lost everything for our son, everything Valen. I had no one and o my him until I found that place. No one helped me until Valarie, my own father, could n’t bear the sight of me. Society displayed me as some vile homewrecking whore; I lived with that. The other rogue women lived with that. I won’t lose it all, I won’t go back to that place where I let myself think I would have help, only to find out I wouldn’t and that everything could be taken away from me,” I answered honestly.

I used to use the excuse it was his cheating, the fact he didn’t recognize me, but deep down it had nothing to with that because he was here now, he proved he would stay, it was my own thoughts that ruined everything, I knew it was toxic, and my own safety mechanism but it was the truth. Until you hit rock bottom and clawed your way back, no one can tell you not to fear ending up back there again.

And that thought terrified me, I had too much to lose now, and if I did, I would lose everything, including my son.

“But no one is taking anything from you, Everly,”

“You did. I know that it’s in the past, I know you want to make up for it, but it f*cking haunts me. Do you have any idea how lonely it is when you have a baby relying on you to keep it alive and fed when you have nothing and no one to help? Then to feel so selfish for forcing that life on a child. Choosing yourself over your own kid because you can’t bear the heartbreak of giving them up, you can’t bear the

thought of letting someone else raise them, I lived  with that guilt of thinking I was destroying my son, so I dam n near k*lled myself to earn the right to be his mother, one he deserved, I created a life for us, I won’t lose it,” I tell him.

“You do deserve him, and none of that will happen again; I am here now,” Valen says.