Alpha's Regret After She Kneels novel Chapter 32

Chapter 32

(Raiden’s POV)

The ballroom hums with energy, alive with laughter and the rhythmic melody of violins weaving through the air. Crystal chandeliers cast glittering reflections, showering the marble floors in fragmented starlight.

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Despite the gaiety, a gnawing discomfort coils within my chest, tightening painfully as I watch Siena from across the room.

She’s not leaving.

Is she hesitating? Does she….does he want my attention?

She stood gracefully poised, her midnight–blue gown shimmering like captured moonlight against the curve of her hips. My breath caught involuntarily, betraying me with a pang of unwanted longing.

Her expression remains serene, composed–but her eyes flash with quiet defiance each time she rejects another Alpha’s offered hand. The elder Alpha has retreated, but that does nothing to slow the steady interest of her gand.

Something warm and possessive stirs inside me, making my wolf rumble with smug satisfaction. I clamp down on the feeling instantly, disgusted and confused by my own weakness.

“You promised me a dance,” Lila whispers, her voice trembling softly beside me.

My pulse quickens with guilt–I’d nearly forgotten she was there, clinging to my arm, her delicate fingers trembling slightly in practiced vulnerability.

Her eyes glisten with unshed tears, begging for attention I haven’t given her tonight.

I force a practiced smile to my lips, masking the turmoil raging inside me. “Of course,” I murmur, guiding her gently toward the dance floor but unable to ignore the new Alpha, so young, virile, charismatic, busily swooning over my Luna.

Have they no respect? No idea of boundaries? The thought sickens me; am I losing control?

As I pull Lila into my arms, I can’t help the involuntary glance toward Siena.

My Luna.

The thought rattles me, though I fight to deny its significance.

She stands alone now, a subtle pride in her elegant posture. Her chin lifted slightly, and those eyes–deep and haunting- remained carefully unreadable.

My stomach twists painfully, betraying the confusion churning within.

“Raiden?”

Lila tugs gently at my arm. Her eyes ever watery as if my fractured attention has somehow broken something inside of her.

Is that what I do? Break the things inside people?

The music swells, gracefully carrying us across the floor. Lila presses closer, her perfume drifting around me like a cloying cloud.

Something feels off about it—too sweet, too artificial. It lacks the warmth and natural radiance of sunshine and wildflowers, which once comforted me in my darkest moments.

“Apologies.

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08:39 Sun, 20 Apr

Chapter 32

Siena’s scent had always grounded me and made my wolf feel secure and alive. This scent, the one that envelops me now, only deepens my unease.

“You seem distracted,” Lila murmurs softly, her voice gently accusing, breaking through the haze of my thoughts. Her eyes search mine, soft and pleading, seeking reassurance.

“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, feigning sincerity. “My thoughts drifted to tomorrow’s events. Forgive me.”

She nods, a faint, shy smile curving her lips. “Your lips were curling up,” she whispers, her eyes sparkling hopefully. “Were you happy? Have I made you happy?”

My heart jolts painfully at her question.

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Truthfully, I’d forgotten her entirely. Happiness is such a lonely, foreign concept that the only acceptable response is a lie. No matter how hard I resist, my eyes follow Siena, follow every single wolf who presents himself to her. They are faces I will never forget- with prejudice, I will seek my own brand of justice.

“Why? You have forsaken her, not the other way around.” Horace nags in the back of my mind.

I do not respond. I cannot. That would mean admittance, and I would not yield.

I refuse.

My careless smile still blooms from relief–relief at seeing Siena reject every Alpha who dared approach her. Relief she still belongs to no one else, even though I have no claim or right to her anymore.

The realization unsettles me, a chill sliding down my spine. I shouldn’t feel this possessive jealousy–not after everything we’ve done to each other.

“Yes,” I lie smoothly, hating how easily deception slides from my tongue. “Of course, I’m happy. You look beautiful tonight.” She blushes, dipping her head shyly, satisfied with my hollow praise.

Yet even as I speak, my eyes betray me, drifting back toward Siena. Her slender figure moves gracefully, weaving through the crowd as she politely but firmly refuses another hopeful Alpha.

Her dignity radiates power, quiet strength shining beneath her calm facade. Something raw and primal twists painfully inside me, urging me toward her. My wolf snarls softly, urging me to claim what’s ours–to protect and cherish her as we once promised.

I wish she would just leave. Allow me some sort of relief.

I crush the impulse ruthlessly, reminding myself of all the pain she has caused–of the endless manipulation and betrayal that tore us apart.

And yet, a whispering voice deep within me challenges those beliefs.

Had I judged her unfairly? Had I condemned her too harshly, blinded by my own pride and hurt?

Lila shifts uneasily in my arms, sensing my restless energy. Her soft eyes glance up at me questioningly. “Raiden?” she whispers, her voice uncertain.

I force another reassuring smile. “Forgive me, I’m just tired,” I murmur gently, though exhaustion isn’t the problem. My mind races, consumed by confusion and doubt.

Across the room, Siena turns slightly, our gazes colliding.

Time freezes, the world blurred and distant as we share a single, unguarded moment.

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Chapter 32

Her eyes widen briefly, unshielded vulnerability flickering across her features.

The raw emotion there–pain, longing, regret–mirrors my own with startling intensity. My chest constricts painfully, air suddenly difficult to draw.

She quickly masks her expression, breaking our connection and turning away.

I ache instantly for her warmth, desperate to bridge the widening chasm between us.

Why does she still hold such power over me after everything we’ve endured?

I should despise her, yet my soul screams to protect her, to hold her tight and never let go.

The song ends, breaking the fragile spell between us.

Lila clings to me, oblivious to the turmoil raging inside my heart.

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As we step from the dance floor, my wolf growls with frustration, pushing memories of Siena to the forefront of my mind- the softness of her laughter, the warmth of her hands tangled in mine, the fierce loyalty that once defined our bond.

Anger flares within me, directed not at Siena, but at myself.

The memories burn, vivid and painful, tearing open wounds I thought had healed. Yet beneath that pain lies regret–deep, consuming regret for how I’ve treated her, for the cruelty I’ve inflicted.

Lila tugs softly at my arm again, grounding me back to reality. Her eyes glitter with urgency, sensing my wandering attention. “Raiden, please,” she whispers, a hint of desperation coloring her tone. “Stay with me tonight. I need you.”

My body tenses instinctively, wary of her clinginess.

Why does her touch suddenly feel suffocating, her presence heavy with obligation rather than comfort? I force myself to nod, swallowing past the bitter taste of guilt. “Of course, Lila.”

Yet even as I agree, my heart twists painfully, resisting the thought of sharing my space with anyone but Siena. Of allowing anyone else to fill the emptiness she left behind.

Siena retreats further away, her elegant figure disappearing into the crowd. Something inside me shatters, an aching emptiness spreading through my chest.

My wolf howls mournfully, mourning a bond fractured by misunderstanding and pain. I clench my fists, fighting to contain the overwhelming urge to chase after her, to beg forgiveness for the wounds I’ve inflicted.

But pride roots my feet to the ground.

She betrayed me first I whispering bitterly–I owe her nothing, least of all an apology. Still, the ache within my heart deepens, whispering truths I refuse to acknowledge.

The evening progresses, I drift through meaningless conversations, my attention perpetually drawn back to Siena.

My wolf refuses to silence his longing, snarling insistently every time another Alpha approaches her. The possessiveness crashes over me in relentless waves, threatening to drown me.

Finally I manage to break fee, of the thousand of eyes that watch me, but most of all, from Lila.

On the balcony, the cool night air fills my lungs, soothing the fire raging within.

Stars glitter silently overhead, indifferent to my torment. Yet their distant coldness offers no answers–only a stark reminder of my isolation.