Alpha's Regret After She Kneels novel Chapter 33

Chapter 33

(Siena’s POV)

Cold raindrops sting my cheeks, mingling quietly with the tears I’ve stubbornly refused to shed.

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The slick cobblestones beneath my feet offer little traction as I hurry through the dimly lit streets. Each step sends sharp jolts through my knees, a cruel reminder of the night spent kneeling outside the hospital, begging for Raiden to grant me even a single glance,

The memory slices through me, reopening wounds that have barely begun to scab over.

Why does he hate me so?

Beside me, Rairity matches my pace effortlessly, her youthful face drawn tight with worry. Her eyes flicker toward me repeatedly as if searching for some sign that I haven’t broken completely beneath tonight’s events.

I pull my jacket tighter around myself, though it does nothing against the chill seeping into my bones. I will not show it, but I am.

“Siena,” Raírity ventures carefully, her voice gentle and hesitant against the pounding rain. “You mentioned Raiden wants to visit your father?”

My throat constricts painfully at her question, a hot ache spreading from my chest to my fingertips.

I manage a stiff nod, swallowing against the lump forming in my throat. “He doesn’t know yet,” I whisper, my voice barely audible over the steady patter of rain. “While he ignored me, my father died. Raiden wants to discuss our divorce with him first–to preserve appearances.”

Just good business.

Pain flashes across Rairity’s face, sympathy and confusion. Her silence stretches between us, heavy and suffocating, before she murmurs softly, “I’m sorry, Siena.”

I’m not.

I offer her a tight smile, though it feels hollow and wrong on my lips. “His silence was his choice. Now, the consequences are mine to bear.”

It’s just good business.

No matter where this goes or how devastated I truly am, if I keep my wits about me, that one line could be the thing that saves my heart; my soul.

My wolf whimpers softly inside me, pressing painfully against the void where our mate bond once thrived.

Raiden’s rejection has left an emptiness nothing else can fill, a gaping wound still raw and bleeding. The thought of him marking Lila, claiming someone else before officially ending our bond, twists my insides so violently that nausea rises bitterly in my throat.

What have I done to deserve this treachery?

Pausing briefly beneath the shadow of a streetlamp, leaning against the slick brick wall to catch my breath, the rain intensifies, streaming down my face and blurring my vision, yet the sharp ache in my chest remains crystal clear.

No amount of rain can wash this grievance away. I will die with it upon my chest.

Rairity’s gentle hand rests lightly on my shoulder. “Are you alright?”

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Chapter 33

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I suck in a shaky breath, straightening despite the pain lancing through me. I’ll survive,” I whisper, though my voice cracks traitorously. “I always do.”

We continue walking, silence settling between us once more, broken only by the steady rhythm of rain. Yet my thoughts refuse to quiet. Questions I’ve been afraid to voice finally bubble to the surface, impossible to suppress.

“Rairity,” I murmur suddenly, my voice trembling with vulnerability, “can a mate bond truly cause pain when betrayed?”

She hesitates, her youthful face thoughtful as she weighs my question. “I believe it can,” she says finally, softly. “Though perhaps a chosen mate bond wouldn’t hurt as deeply as a true mate bond. Maybe that’s why Raiden could mark another without feeling what you feel.”

He never felt me. Never truly.

Her words settle heavily in my chest, confirming the fears I’ve silently harbored for so many years.

Was I ever truly his mate at all?

Or was I merely a political convenience–a disposable pawn in the game of power and alliances?

My wolf snarls softly inside me, insisting something is wrong. Raiden still belongs to us.”

mark is as false as that wretched little creature Siena.

The pain is untenable, but I no longer have the strength to cling to illusions. Years of rejection and neglect have taught me painful lessons, stripping me of innocence piece by heartbreaking piece.

I shake my head gently, pushing the thoughts aside with ruthless determination. “It doesn’t matter now,” I whisper, more to myself than to Rairity. “I can’t keep holding onto something that never belonged to me.”

He belongs to Lila now.

My beta remains silent, though her eyes fill with compassion. I appreciate her quiet strength and the gentle support she offers without pushing too far or pressing my wounds deeper.

I made a good choice. The right choice.

The meeting place hovers ahead, barely visible through the veil of relentless rain.

My heart pounds unevenly, anxiety tightening my chest. Tonight’s encounter with Raiden has left me shaken, uncertain, and yet strangely resolved. For the first time, I see clearly–I must move forward, even if it means cutting the very threads that once bound me to him.

Stopping abruptly, I turn to face Rairity, my voice firm despite the storm within me. “Rairity, would you consider becoming my beta officially?”

Surprise flickers across her features, quickly replaced by respectful seriousness. She studies me closely, searching my eyes for sincerity. “Are you sure, Siena? You know I would be honored–but it’s not a decision to make lightly.”

“I’ve thought about it,” I say, conviction strengthening my voice. “You’ve stood by me loyally through everything. Windhowl needs stability now more than ever. And I trust you implicitly.”

Her face softens with gratitude, a faint smile pulling at her lips. “Then yes, Siena. I would gladly serve as your beta.”

Relief floods my veins, bringing with it a fragile spark of hope.

This decision won’t mend my heart, won’t erase the agony of Raiden’s betrayal, but perhaps it grants me strength–the strength to rebuild, to protect my pack from further pain. I smile faintly, squeezing her shoulder with genuine affection. “Thank you, Rairity.”

Chapter 38

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Silverfang Pack will be in an uproar. My decision is unprecedented. But then again, hasn’t all of this journey been rather

We continue the rain soaking through my clothes until I’m shivering uncontrollably.

The chill on my skin pales beside the icy emptiness in my heart. I ache for the warmth I’ve lost–the tender affection and shared laughter that once filled my days.

Was it ever there, the warmth?

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My father’s memory drifts through my mind suddenly, his gentle wisdom echoing softly in my ears. “Strength isn’t about never breaking he’d once told me, his voice firm yet kind. “It’s about finding the courage to stand up again, even when your heart is shattered.

Tears burn my eyes, mingling silently with the falling rain.

The pain is real and deserved. There’s never going to be a day I don’t regret all that I sacrificed–against him. Never will I cease to ask myself what if?

Had I stayed with my pack, would things have been different? Would the heartbreak I felt then be far better than the laughter of my integrity now?

How desperately I wish he were here now–to guide me through this darkness, to reassure me that someday the pain would ease. But he’s gone, leaving me alone to face this storm.

Kaiden’s face flashes through my thoughts now–his distant, cold stare tonight contrasted sharply with the rare tenderness he’d once shown me. My chest aches fiercely, longing for what we’ve lost, for what I foolishly believed we might still salvage.

Resolve hardens within me, fueled by years of hurt and rejection.

I am Alpha of Windholw now; I can no longer afford to linger in the shadow of his denial. My heart deserves more than the scraps he’s reluctantly offered, more than the empty promises of a bond he never truly accepted.