Be Your Own Spring novel Chapter 61

"Hmmm but, question: Why the hell do you like my cologne that much?" She is literally obsessed with my cologne.

"It's not my fault it's smells tasty. I wanna drown in it.... Swim and come back until my fingers go all pruny... Your cologne... Which brand?" She asked curiously.

I looked at her to see if she was serious and when I saw her dead serious, I bursted into a fit of laughter.

I heard her soft giggling/laughing against my booming laughter and that only made me laugh more.

We both stopped and looked at each other.....

"Fuck, that was fun...." I sighed and cleared my throat, "Okay let's get something clear once and for all." I got serious, and saw her eyes widen at my sudden mood but she nodded, "Firstly, as I said before, it's for me to know and-"

"-for you to find out, yeah, yeah, now tell me, which brand?" She said dismissing me with a wave of her hand.

Well, she can go on and on but I am never telling her.

"Nope, not telling. As I was saying before I got rudely interrupted", I glared at her playfully and she giggled.

Fuck I love that sound.

But weren't you saying you never made her giggle like Canes did.

If Canes even decide to make her giggle, he would be needing literal canes.

I continued after shutting my inner battle, "Secondly, donot ever talk about dying.... Get it?" My eyes were glaring into hers.

How can she talk about herself like that?

She looked at me and smiled before looking down, "Why? People will be happier if I am not here and also you would be too, you'll get to marry someone you love, but I'll not let you be peaceful and I'll haunt you forever" She said and her face turned slowly from a smile to a frown.

My heart started beating louder. But not like how it beats in her presence.

It was a beating of pure panic.

If she dies.....happier, me?

Those were the only words that were ringing in my mind.

My fists clenched and I couldn't stop myself from yelling at her stupidity.

"You're fucking crazy in the head!" I yelled and she flinched, tears gathering in her eyes.

But I didn't care, for the first time, I didn't care.

I was too selfish trying to calm my beating heart.

"Y-you don't understand what you're saying and no I will not be happy by you being gone. I can't love anybody else......." I said trying to ease the pain.

"What-why?" She was barely audible but I caught on.

"Cause....I can't live without you" I closed my eyes thinking how life will be, without her.

I didn't care if I confessed to her.

I. Didn't. Care.