Beastly novel Chapter 56

A blush rose to my cheeks and I cleared my throat as I tore my eyes away from him, looking out at the lake again.

"I never knew my parents." I said, hoping my voice came out strong enough "Frankly, the only parents that I've ever had are Ben and Maria. They taught me what it was to truly love and be loved, regardless of who you are."

"They are really important to you."

I laughed a little "I'd do anything for them. They really helped me through a lot and took care of me without even knowing me. It was because I met them that I got to become a ballet dancer."

"You really like it?"

"Like it? I love it! I started dancing when I came out of therapy. Of course, I wasn't fully recovered, so I guess dancing for me was what gardening was for you; a coping mechanism. Along the line though, it made me so happy that I decided to become a teacher."

I remembered how the little girls in the dance studio were always excited to come in every day. The sound of Cassie's voice as she encouraged them and the little moments that we would have snack breaks. I really did enjoy what my life was like.

"Things have changed and obviously, I can't do what I used to months ago, but I won't ever stop loving ballet." I said and turned to him with a big stupid smile on my face "It's kind of ironic how getting on stage to perform in front of people was a remedy to my anxiety."

"Not really. I think it's beautiful. Just like you." he said

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"I'm just wondering."

"About?"

"If I was born to a normal family and had grown up a normal person..." he frowned a little, the clenching of his jaw visible "If I wasn't such a monster, would you have loved me enough for your eyes to light up the way they just did?"

There was no way to answer that question. Would I? My mind couldn't imagine Xander and I meeting in another circumstance. We had both been born into a world and a time that had dealt us difficult cards, made us do things normal people would never do and develop relationships destined by fate. Turning back the hands of time wouldn't be enough for us to escape the inevitable and recently, I had become painfully aware of that.

I was lucky enough to have a redeeming moment that had saved me from my suffering. I wondered if Xander's redeeming moment had been the moment he had given the title of 'Alpha'. Then again, even years after, he was still suffering. There was really no way to determine.

"If you feed me enough..." I started, smiling slightly "I might consider it."

His eyes widened a little bit before he started chuckling, probably not expecting that response.

"What are you? A puppy?"

"Hey! The only puppy here is you! I'm not the one that does those cute little head tilts all the damn time."

"Cute?" He tilted his head and I scowled, realising what I had just said "You think my head tilts are cute?"

"You know what Alexander? You were much better when you struggled to talk."

His chuckling turned into small amounts of laughter and although I kept scowling at him, it was a rare sight to see him laughing and for some reason, it made me happy.

.............

"That chocolate cake was wonderful!" I gushed, for the thousandth time as we drove home. I heard Xander's small groan beside me and directed a glare at him "Don't you dare do that. It's your fault for taking me there."

"Okay." I said, my voice smaller

He grabbed my items and placed them aside, before taking a hold of my hand and guiding me towards the direction of the living room. The centre table was gone, the space now open. He pulled away, leaving me to stand at the centre before switching on the speaker. A soft melodious voice rang through the room as he turned back to look at me. He reached for me again, one arm holding my waist and the other, holding my hand up. His eyes and mine stared back into each other and I was unable to look away.

We were so close that it frightened me. I could hear my heart beating against my chest as I listened to the lyrics. It was one of the most sensual love songs I had ever heard, with a combination of instruments that I automatically moved to. Before I knew it, I was relaxing and seemed to melt in his arms as we moved together slowly. Our feet moved together, across the small space that we had, according to the rhythm of the song. My head rested on his chest gradually and I listened to his erratic heartbeat that was almost as loud as my own.

My eyes closed on their own accord as the song drew to a close and we stopped moving. It was only for a short moment, but it had gotten me so emotional that I couldn't understand. It was a weird sense of nostalgia that nestled in my heart and it ached badly.

"I'm in love with you." he said, quietly "I seem to love you the more I spend time with you."

I didn't open my eyes and didn't respond as he spoke. There was nothing I could say.

"I don't need an answer and I don't expect you to love me back. It might be selfish, but all I want is to stay with you as long as I can."

His arm tightened around me as his other hand touched my chin to lift my head. My eyes opened and widened as I saw that my vision had gotten blurry, tears filling up my eyes.

"No matter how difficult I am or how much of a monster I become, please let me stay with you."

I couldn't stop the tears as they flowed down my cheeks. It was painful. It was so so painful and it didn't help that a smile appeared on his face as he wiped the tears away.

"At least before you leave me forever."