Kellen felt like a madman with how much he was typing, how quickly all of his thoughts were flowing from his fingers, and how easily making an answer sheet for the new Field Guide teachers. It shouldn’t come this easily to him, but it was.
Maybe he had always wanted to make a list like this? Maybe this was just a really good distraction from everything else going on in his life? He didn’t know, but by the time that he would normally be going to his second class rolled around, he’d written a few pages of questions and answers.
He’d followed along the units, working away and through the class time that he would normally have. No one came to get him, or bother him. Not even the scientists in the main room. Kellen was focused.
He didn’t know how long he’d be in the gate, if he went into the gate. He wanted to make sure that they would have everything that they would need. He made sure to include his teacher’s school at the end of the question and answer sheet. Just in case they had anymore questions.
Because who knew where Brent was? Missing? Stolen? In the gate? In the belly of a beast?
Kellen honestly didn’t know which one was real, and he didn’t want to find out. Not if it was a bad one. He didn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he found out before the gate issue was solved. He thought he’d be stronger than that, but he wasn’t. Not with so many people he cared about in danger.
Kellen checked the clock at some point and found that it was well past dinner time. A sinking feeling filled his gut as he checked his phone. Nothing from Casper, or Rhys. Not even his parents.
He didn’t like that. He knew he needed to eat, especially if things were going to take this turn. He would need every last ounce of guiding power in his body that he could maintain. He grumbled, deciding he would order food in from the cafeteria to his rooms so that he could finish writing this and then go up and eat after that.
He took a few minutes to place the order, told them what time would work for him and let them know to knock or let themselves in if need be.
Then, Kellen set to work finishing the answer sheet. He even threw in some questions that they hadn’t asked, but he had asked and the instructors hadn’t been able to answer for him when he’d been a young Field Guide in training.
Then, with a heavy sigh, he sent it off to Casper and closed his laptop.
He took a moment to look around his office. The office that Gunther had made sure he got. The office that Brent had taken over. The bare shelves held more things of Brent than they did of Kellen. Kellen had only brought a few books down from his collection, ordered a few more in, while Brent, like his sister, brought little personal touches.
A few things from his times in gates, one of his prosthetics that truly didn’t work anymore. Some torn fabric that held a story between him and Kellen. Kellen felt his face twist, his breathing growing short and shallow as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he might never see Brent again.
He couldn’t accept it.
It was one thing to see his sister getting sucked into the gate, it was another thing entirely to not have that kind of closure for Brent. He couldn’t even begin to understand, to wrap his head around what had happened to him. Especially since he had been with another Esper and that Esper was totally fine. He assumed they were totally fine. No one had told him otherwise.
Kellen jerked his gaze away from all of the things that reminded Kellen of Brent and grabbed his phone and keys, shoving them into his pockets and turned off the light, yanking the door open and closing it. The rest of the department was dark as well, since everyone else had gone home at this point.
Kellen made his way towards the bucket, but even that reminded him of Brent. He took a few shaky breaths, grabbing a few snacks and shoving them into his pockets. It didn’t matter. Things were going to remind him of Brent no matter what. He needed to get his shit together.
It wasn’t like his apartment was going to be any better. It would have more things from Gwen and Brent there. He just...needed to make a battle plan. One that either he, or someone else was going to find. It would...make things easier. Make him feel like he was doing something to help.
Kellen’s head was full of these kinds of thoughts as he headed up to his apartment. When he passed the A Class gym it was mostly empty. Something that rarely happened, but with all the going ons in the Guild, it made sense.
Kellen was pretty sure he was going to arrive just after the food had been dropped off. He also didn’t know if Rhys had also eaten, so he had made sure that there was some food that Rhys could eat.
If Rhys was even home.
Kellen frowned, thinking about the ’conversation’ they had had earlier today. It had been two steps away from an argument. Kellen might have not argued with him before, but he could feel it. The tension between them.
Comments
The readers' comments on the novel: (BL) Hunting The Field Guide