VIOLA
After the phone call I sit down. I’m stunned. I can’t believe it.
Amber looks at me. “Are you okay?”
“I can’t believe it,” I say. I’m in a daze.
“What is it? Are you okay?”
“That was Lara.”
“Your boss. The one who fired you?”
I nod.
“And?” Amber asks curiously. She’s getting stressed and thinks it’s something bad.
“She just asked me to come and work for her again,” I say at last.
“What?” she asks, incredulous. She’s never heard of someone being fired and then rehired by their boss so fast if ever. “What’s the catch?”
“None,” I say. “None at all.” I told Lara I’d think about it but what is there to think about. There are no other opportunities like this. I call her back.
“Okay, I’ll be more than happy to come back. I just have one request,” I say.
“What’s that?” Lara asks sounding worried.
“I’ll start after Rick’s wedding, okay?”
“I was hoping…” Lara begins and then trails off. “Sure. Okay. Done. I’ll see you on Monday.”
“His wedding is still going ahead?” I ask just to be sure.
“Yes it is,” Lara says.
We end the call and I sit down. A smile slowly as Amber looks at me. “And?”
“I’m going back to work,” I say jumping up and down.
“That’s great!” Amber says and dances with me in the middle of the living room as Dane looks on. Then Amber goes to fetch us a bottle of wine and we begin to drink. Three bottles later, we’re quite drunk. I eventually fall asleep on the sofa and Amber heads off to the bedroom where she crashes with Dane.
I feel as if my head is in a vice the next morning when I wake up. I vow never to drink again until the next glass of wine and stumble into the kitchen for aspirin. I cook some breakfast and soon my headache is better but I’m not as happy as I was the night before.
Reality is hitting home. Rick is getting married tomorrow and that’s it. I can’t say if we were ever compatible, but I know that we have feelings for each other that we should have given ourselves the chance to explore. After tomorrow it’s never going to happen. After everything, the amount of times I felt as if I was pushed back to Rick, I feel like I’m going to be losing something important to me if this marriage goes ahead tomorrow. But I’m not someone to ruin things for others. I remember Ashley who I employed as my wedding whisperer to stop marriages from getting cancelled at the last minute because of my reputation and the money that the couple would lose if they cancelled.
I’m not about to be the one who is the cause of Christine and Rick losing a lot of hard earned money because I get in the way. Besides, there’s two people involved. It’s not just my decision to step in and tell him how I feel. He needs to make the decision from his side too.
My inner voice rises up with it’s usual wisdom, yes, but usually someone’s got to take the first step. If he doesn’t and you don’t then that’s it. Are you going to leave it up to him?
I answer my inner voice, I wish you would make up your mind. Are you with me or against me? You always go against me.
At least I help you consider the options…
And consequences, I add.
I specifically didn’t want to go back to work with Lara until after the wedding because I was afraid I would do something that would make her fire me again. And I’m pretty sure that if she fires me a second time, there’ll be no going back. I don’t want to take the chance that I’ll screw up again. I need this job and she needs the help.
My inner voice is full of wisdom this morning. Is that really why you didn’t want to go back to work until after the wedding? Or is it because if you do ruin the wedding, she can’t fire you? Why has she rehired you?
I don’t answer my inner voice but the questions it’s asking make me think it maybe knows me better than I know myself. Of course it does.
I push away the thoughts. That way lies disaster and a path of destruction I don’t want to be responsible for.
As I finish my breakfast with strong black coffee, Amber stumbles into the kitchen. She looks like hell. I help her take a seat and cook up a storm for her quickly. Soon she’s feeling better, so much better that she can tell I have something on my mind.
“What’s up?” she asks. “You just got your job back last night. You should be celebrating all weekend.”
I smile but say nothing.
“C’mon. Talk to me,” Amber says.
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