Cold Feet novel Chapter 41

VIOLA

I stay out of sight until Christine has entered the church. I wait a few seconds more and then enter behind her. The church is full but I find some empty seats near the back. I see Rick looking backwards. I think he might have seen me but I can’t be sure. Maybe he’s only looking at Christine.

Then, just before Christine reaches the front of the church a man enters, looks around and spots the empty seats next to me. He comes over and sits next to me.

He’s big and well built. I give him a cursory glance and smile as he sits beside me. He smiles back and then looks to the front of the church. He seems tense and focused as he looks to the front of the church.

I think he’s handsome and I wonder if the universe is sending me another opportunity. Maybe the universe has accepted that Rick and I are a lost cause and it’s decided to offer me another gift.

Grow up, my inner voice says sourly. You seem to think the universe only thinks of you.

I respond to my inner voice, we are in a bad mood aren’t we? Then I almost burst out laughing at the absurdity of talking to my inner voice. People around me glance at me to see what has made me laugh and I blush. I crush my laughter quickly. At least I’ve shut my inner voice up.

The ceremony goes according to plan and there’s not a hitch until the point where the minister says, “If there is any man or woman here today that knows of any reason why this couple should not be married, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”

I feel my muscles tense as I ready myself to stand up. Should I do this? It’s now or never? I glance around quickly. I spotted Lara earlier and I notice her shift uncomfortably in her seat as if she wants to say something. She even throws a quick glance to me as if she wonders if I am going to stand up. When she sees me she seem’s surprised. I think it has to do with me but I’m wrong. I don’t know that she knows the man beside me…

As it happens, I don’t need to stand up and object. The man beside me stands even as I’m still looking at Lara. She suddenly looks horrified and it’s as if the blood rains from her face as she looks back to the front of the church.

As the man beside me gets up I think, bad time to go to the little men’s room buddy. But he doesn’t move after he gets up. Instead he stands where he is and speaks.

“I do. I object.”

I think my heart is going to stop for a minute. Oh fuck, I think. I crane my neck to look up at this man and get a better look at him. Who is he?

I’ve never been in a church where this has happened. The church was silent enough before but now it’s so quiet you could hear the parking attendant a block away fart. If there was a parking attendant a block away.

The minister stops speaking and for a moment he looks like he’s about to have a heart attack. I don’t think he’s ever had this problem before.

People turn to look at him but because he’s right next to me I almost feel as if they’re looking right at me. I turn red with embarrassment although I have no reason to be just yet.

I look around the room and I see Lara. She’s looking at me with raised eyebrows almost as if she expects me to do something or as if she thinks that I am responsible for this.

A thought hits me then. I can’t be blamed for ruining this wedding anymore. The guy beside me has already done that.

What have I got to lose?

I thought you’d never come to the party, my inner voice says as I throw caution to the wind and stand up. When I do, I think the people in the church must think we’re together.

“Actually, I… I… object too,” I say. I think I haven’t said it loud enough and I say it louder. “I object.”

The guy beside me looks at me curiously as if he’s thinking who the hell are you? I guess in the next instant he realizes I’m helping his cause and he smiles at me and then winks.

The surprises aren’t over though. I notice movement on the opposite side of the aisle and see that Lara is now standing as well. “I object too,” she says loudly.

The church is suddenly abuzz with people whispering and murmuring.

Rick and Christine have turned. Rick’s face is one of puzzlement. He has no idea who the guy beside me is. Then he sees me and he struggles to suppress a smile. I look at Christine. She has removed her veil and her face is bright red with embarrassment I think but when I stand and voice my objection, she practically turns purple despite her makeup. Her eyes narrow and she looks as if she’s about to launch through the air to where I am so she can claw me to death.

The minister’s voice stops her though. He calls for quiet and the noise in the church dies down.