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(Jayden)
“What!? How do you know they never had sex?”
“I asked. Not hard to get information, you know.”
“So, what the hell am I supposed to do?” I ask, frustration boiling over. “She threw it in my face, like I can just erase the past. I can’t.”
“Maybe start by not throwing a tantrum when she brings it up,” Lance says bluntly. “You’ve got to understand where she’s coming from. And for fuck’s sake, stop acting like she’s accusing you of something you didn’t do. You did it, so own it.”
I rub my temples, trying to ease the thumping. “And what about you, huh? You’re sitting here pining after Lisa like a goddamn schoolboy who won’t admit he’s in love with the only woman in the world who can possibly put up with him.”
He snorts. “Nice try. Actually, I’m meant to be playing golf with Phillip today, pity.”
“Phillip?” I scoff. “You’re telling me you’re pining over missing out on golf with Phillip?”
Lance laughs, “At least I’m not living in denial like you are.”
“Denial?” I snap. “What the hell am I in denial about?”
“You’re in denial about the fact that you’re scared,” Lance says, his voice suddenly serious. “You’re scared that Winona’s never going to get over what happened with Ashlyn, and that scares the shit out of you. So instead of dealing with it, you’re lashing out, making it worse.”
The truth of his words hits me like a punch to the gut, but I refuse to show it. “And you’re scared that Lisa’s better off with Phillip because deep down, you know you never deserved her in the first place.”
Lance’s eyes narrow, and for a second, I think I might’ve gone too far.
But then he smirks. “Truth. But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about you and how you need to pull your head out of your ass before you lose the only person who may be able to keep your mentally challenged brain sane.”
“I can’t keep pretending like everything’s fine when it’s not.”
“Then don’t,” Lance says simply. “But don’t run away from it either and don’t get angry about it. You need to be there for Winona, even when she’s throwing Ashlyn in your face. You need to let her work through it, and if that means taking a few hits along the way, then so be it.”
I sigh, knowing he’s right. “Yeah, well, it’s easier said than done.”
I
“Life’s a bitch, Jayden,” Lance says with a shrug. “But if you love her–and I mean really love her–you’ll figure it out. And if that means suggesting therapy or whatever, then do it. Just don’t be a coward.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “You’re calling me a coward?”
“Absolutely,” Lance says with a grin. “And you’d better believe I’ll keep calling you that until you stop being one. I refuse to cup your balls and tell you it’s not your fault. As much as I know you want me to cup your
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balls.”
I shake my head, a small smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. “You’re a real pain in my ass, you know
that?”
“Yeah, but that’s why you love me,” he says, winking. “Now, go figure out your shit with Winona. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll figure out mine with Lisa.”
“Or Phillip.”
“He d
does play a good eighteen holes. It’s nice to have some real competition for a change.” He says looking thoughtful.
Lance and I played golf for years together. It’s been a while. I know he’s just reminding me of the fact we haven’t in a while.
“You barely ever beat me.”
“Of course. Because if I did, you’d just throw a tantrum and embarrass us, so I let
you win.”
“So help me, Lance. I swear I will make that first punch a doozy.”
“I’ll try to duck real slow, so you don’t miss. Then I’ll take another hundred bet money off you because you will never land another one.” Lance laughs.
“Can you just give me a break, just for a second?”
“Nope. What you need is a scotch on the rocks.” He stands up and goes to his sideboard and pours two drinks.
The mention of alcohol has my gut churning. “No way.“I groan. “Just thinking about alcohol makes me want to vomit.”
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