151 Can’t Get Past It
(Winona)
I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. My head’s pounding, my stomach’s churning, and every sound stabs into my skull. I groan, pressing my hand to my forehead as I sit up in bed.
The memories of last night come flooding back–the party, the drinks, the argument.
God, the argument.
Anne stayed over with Bobby and Sarah. I hope they never heard us arguing like that. The kids are playing downstairs, their laughter bubbling upwards. It’s the only bright spot in my day so far.
I pull on a robe and drag myself down to the kitchen, where the smell of coffee isn’t helping my nausea.
“Good afternoon.” Anne glances up from the table, her eyes sharp. “You look like hell,” she says, handing
me a mug.
“Feel like it, too,” I mutter, taking a sip and wincing. Even the usual coffee tastes too strong. I wince.” Afternoon?” I look at the clock on the wall. “Shit, it’s almost three in the afternoon!”
I heard Jayden slam the door when he left around three in the morning,” Anne says, her voice probing but gentle. “Are you okay?”
I sigh, leaning against the counter. “We argued. Badly. I said a lot of things I shouldn’t have.”
Anne studies me for a moment, then asks, “were any of those things true?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah, they were true, but… I think the delivery was a bit rough, on both accounts. We were both drunk and angry. No excuse for attacking each other though.”
“At least everything is out there now,” Anne says, her tone practical. “You can’t deal with anything if you’re not honest about how you’re feeling.”
I want to argue, but she’s right. “Yeah, I guess. I just hope the kids didn’t hear any of it. I should’ve been more careful,
“I couldn’t actually hear the argument so neither could they. I just heard Jayden mumbling and the door
slam.”
“That’s a relief.”
Anne finishes her coffee and stands up. I’m taking all three kids out for a bit. You should get some more rest, or at least take a shower. You look like death warmed over.”
“Thanks.”
Anne always cuts to the chase. “You and Jayden need to work on things together if you both want this. It’s not going to happen by magic. Nothing ever does.”
She pats my shoulder before heading out, leaving me alone with my thoughts–and my guilt. I’m still standing here, trying to piece together the mess I’m facing, when there’s a knock on the door.
Please don’t be Jayden. I just can’t right now.
151 Can’t Get Past li
© +25 BONUS
I open the front door and Lisa rushes in like a tornado, her usual larger–than–life energy making my head hurt even more.
“Hey, you look rough. I thought you’d be glowing after a night with your sexy fiancé, not looking like you got dragged through a hedge backwards. Unless he’s the reason you look that way.
I manage a weak smile. “Yeah, well, he is partially the reason, but not the way you’re imagining”
Lisa’s brows raise up as she flops down on the couch, her bag hitting the floor with a thud. “Oh? Spill. Did he not perform, or did you two just get too drunk to core?”
I can’t help but laugh, even though it makes my head hurt. “We got drunk and cared too much… We argued. About him having sex with Ashlyn. And then some.”
She leans forward, suddenly serious. “What happened?”
I sigh, sitting next to her. “I couldn’t stop thinking about how the last person he was with was Ashlyn. It just… it got into my head, and I kept picturing it. I told him hoping he’d understand and he got angry. Really angry.”
“That’s not good.”
“He told me I was crazy to think about Ashlyn and him and needed therapy. Okay, he said my reactions. were crazy. Same thing as far as I can see.”
Lisa lets out a low whistle. “So, even though Ashlyn’s locked up, she’s still messing with your relationship.”
“Pretty much,” I mutter.
“Well,” Lisa says, leaning back and crossing her legs. “You’re not going to like this, but you need to deal with those feelings. Otherwise, they’re going to eat you alive–and your relationship with Jayden along
with it.”
“I know,” I admit, slumping against the cushions. “I just… I don’t know how to let it go.”
Lisa shrugs. “Maybe talking to someone who isn’t Jayden might help. A therapist, a counselor… hell, even me. Though I’m more likely to tell you to just have great sex and forget about it.”
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