Don’t Cry Baby novel Chapter 18

I can't get the image of him lying still on the bedroom floor out of my head. I lay awake listening to the sound of Tyler's soft breathing beside me, his arm rests across my lap as silent tears fall down my cheeks. I stare at the wall ahead of me, the small clock ticks away , the darkness playing tricks with my eyes. Shadows are cast around the room, if I squint I can almost imagine him standing there again, full of life and sorrow. I can almost pretend that he'll walk out if this room alive , and never think of me.

Every time I close my eyes I relive the moment he took his last breath, the moment I lost him forever. My eyes burn with a need for sleep but, I keep them open. Ty stirs and rolls over, his eyes flutter open and he looks up at me.

"What time is it?"

"About 3 am." He pulls me down beside him, I turn so I'm facing him and he rubs my back.

"You're thinking of him aren't you." I reluctantly nod my head.

"I'm sorry that you had to see that." His hand rests on my cheek and he wipes away a tear.

"Please don't cry over him." His voice comes out barely a whisper. I turn away from him in the bed , his arm wraps around me and pulls me closer against him. I stay silent in the bed and wait for his breathing to slow back down as he falls asleep. His body relaxes against me and I slowly pry myself away from him and slide out of the bed. Once my feet hit the ground I quietly leave the room with a soft robe wrapped tightly around my body.

The house seems colder , darker almost after everything that has happened.

I walk into the dimly lit kitchen and turn the light on. Even with the lights on it still feels dark in here. I turn the water on in the sink and fill it with soap, needing something to do with my hands and take my mind off of everything with Damien. I shudder as I think about him, the warmth of the dishwater stings the skin of my hands as I try to wash them. I take my time with each dish, washing every inch of them. I dry each dish and carefully set them away. Once I finish with the dishes I move onto the counters and floors. I spend my time cleaning the whole kitchen, living room and bathroom. By the time I am done the sun has risen and the I hear Tyler stirring upstairs. I get some breakfast started for him and keep my body facing towards the stove. I don't turn around when he steps downstairs and says good morning. I flinch when he walks towards me and wraps his arms around me.