Don’t Cry Baby novel Chapter 19

Tyler was late for work when we finished, he grabbed the breakfast I had started to make to go and left in a hurry. We didn't say much to each other before he left. He kissed me goodbye and that was about it. I watched him pull out of the driveway from the couch not feeling like moving. I grab a blanket from the back of the couch and pull it over me, the draft in the house sending a chill through my body and goosebumps begin to form. Wanting to warm up I stand up and pad over to the bathroom with the blanket still wrapped tightly around me wanting to keep any warmth I have on me. I walk into the bedroom, ignoring the feeling that fills me as I stare at the one spot in the room that will never be the same. I avert my eyes and set the blanket on the end of the unmade bed, I turn towards the bathroom and walk in flipping the light on as I step through the door. I walk towards the counter and grab a towel from the cupboard underneath the sink, I set it on the bar to the left of the shower and turn the water on. I feel it with my hand waiting for the temperature I want, the steam rises from behind the floral curtain. I pull it back and step into the shower trying not to slip.

As I step inside and let the water hit my skin, I close my eyes and feel the water against my face. I push back the images that instantly fill my head as my eyes close. The images of Damien lying still on the floor of our bedroom, the eyes I will never get to see, his hands at his sides unclenched and unmoving. I squeeze my eyes and try to shake the images out of my head, they won't stop flowing. Tyler squeezing the life from him won't stop replaying, my legs feel like jello as I slide down the wall of the shower. I pull my knees up to my chest and lay my forehead against my knees. It's like all of it is happening all over again, I'm watching Tyler hurting Damien all over again. I need it to stop, I need the pain to stop. I feel like the breath from my lungs is gone, I bite down hard on my lip until I taste blood. I don't know how long I can handle this, I need something else to feel besides this. I hit my head against the wall as if I'm trying to get rid of the memories. I hit my head harder against the wall, hard enough my vision gets fuzzy, the pain of hitting my head brings my breath back and I feel like I can breathe again. I take a shaky breath and slowly stand up on shaky legs. Not wanting to waste anymore water I finish washing my body and hair and climb out of the shower.

I reach for the towel dry my hair and body with it before wrapping it tightly around myself. I leave the bathroom letting the cold air of my bedroom hit me. I decide to put on some shorts and a baggy shirt before leaving the bedroom and making my way back to the kitchen. I reach the back counter and start making some tea. As I open the cupboard where I keep my tea I hear a noise at the door, some urgent knocking. I scrunch my eyebrows and walk towards the door to look through the peephole. Darcy stands there looking concerned. I unlock the door and welcome her in. She walks in rubbing her arm , her obviously tear streaked face scrunched with worry as she turns back to face me. I step towards her and she shrugs away from my touch.

"Do you know where he is?" My heart feels like it drops to my stomach as she speaks those words, knowing she can't possibly be talking about Damien but I still feel nervous.

"Darcy what's going on?" I try once more to reach for her, this time she lets me touch her arm. She folds in on herself as she feels my touch against her skin. She walks closer to me and lets me wrap my arms around her, I gently rub her back as she cries on me.

"He...he left me Al." My stomach churns as these words came out of her mouth, I can't help but feel confused. Surely Tyler would have shared this with me , he works with Charlie everyday. I don't understand why he would keep something like this from me.

"What do you mean he left you, what happened?" I lead her towards the table and help her sit down. I offer her some tea and she nods slowly.

"He texted me last night and told me he was leaving, he said he couldn't do it anymore. I'm sorry I barged in here, I just thought maybe Nate would have shared something with you."

"No , I'm sorry he never shared anything like that with me. Did he say why he couldn't do it anymore. Did something happen at work maybe?" I quickly pick some tea and two cups and make it while we continue the conversation.

"No, it all came as a surprise. I sent the boys to daycare this morning, they kept asking about their dad." She lays her head in her hands and tries to take a few deep breaths. I feel helpless as I watch her cry, I wish I could help her feel better in some way. Maybe, I should call Ty.