Fifty Shades Darker (book 5) novel Chapter 114

I can’t lose her. I’ve only just found her.

Confused and overwhelmed, I deposit my plate in the sink and head to my bedroom.

It will be our bedroom if she says yes.

Outside the bathroom, I hear a stifled noise. She’s weeping. I open the door and she’s on the floor, curled up in the fetal position, wearing one of my T-shirts and sobbing. The sight of her in such despair is like a swift kick to my gut that leaves me breathless. It’s intolerable.

I crawl onto the floor. “Hey,” I murmur, as I pull her into my lap. “Please don’t cry, Ana, please.” She snakes her arms around me and clings to me, but her crying shows no sign of abating.

Oh, baby.

Gently I stroke her back, thinking about how much more her tears affect me than Leila’s did.

Because I love her.

She’s brave and strong. And this is how I reward her, by making her cry.

“I’m sorry, baby,” I whisper, holding her, and I start to rock to and fro as she weeps. I kiss her hair. Eventually, her crying subsides and she shudders, racked with dry sobs. I stand with her in my arms, carry her to the bedroom, and lay her down on the bed. She yawns and closes her eyes while I strip out of my pants and shirt. Leaving my underwear on, I slip into a T-shirt and switch off the lights. In bed, I hold her close. Within seconds, her breathing deepens and I know she’s asleep. She’s exhausted, too. I dare not move for fear of waking her. She needs sleep.

In the dark I try to make some sense of all that has occurred this evening. So much has happened. Too much, too much…

Leila stands before me. She’s a waif and her stench makes me take a step back.

The stench. No.

The stench.

He smells. He smells of nasty. And dirt. It makes sick come into my mouth.

He’s mad. I hide under the table. There you are, you little prick.

He has cigarettes.

No. I call my mommy. But she doesn’t hear me. She lies on the floor.

Smoke comes out of his mouth.

He laughs.

And he holds my hair.

The burn. I scream.

I don’t like the burn.

Mommy is on the floor. I sleep beside her. She is cold. I cover her with my blankie.

He’s back. He’s mad.

Crazy. Stupid. Bitch.

Get out of my way, you stupid fucking runt. He hits me and I fall.

He goes. He locks the door. And it’s Mommy and me.

And then she’s gone. Where is Mommy? Where is Mommy?