Chapter 19: You’re Screwed
JULIA
My heart dropped.
+25 BONUS
“Oh shit,” Sarah said before she could stop himself. Normally, I would turn to glare at her, but I was too shocked to even do that.
“Aunt Sarah,” Andy said, shaking his head. “Don’t say bad words.”
Sarah sheepishly smiled, also not knowing what to say.
I cleared my throat. Maybe, I just heard it wrong. “Can you repeat that, bub?”
Andy pursed his lips before speaking once more. “My dad, he muttered. “Can I meet him on my 6th birthday, please?”
I heard right. “Goodness,” I whispered to myself.
He never asked for him. Not once in all these years. Not when he was teased for being the only kid in their neighborhood without a dad during a Father’s Day event. Not when I’d find him quietly watching other kids with their dads at the park.
Andy had always been the “okay, mommy” kid. The “I’m fine” kid. The “everything is good” kid.
It hurt, of course. It must be because he saw my struggles being a single mother.
I knew my son. If Andy was asking for something, it wasn’t on a whim. It was because he had thought about it- really thought about it–and decided it was important.
“Mommy?”
he said again, quieter this time, his small voice trembling ever so slightly.
I forced myself to breathe, a shaky smile appearing on my face. “What made you think about that, bub?” I couldn’t help but ask.
Andy hesitated, his little hands clenching in his lap. He didn’t look up at me. Instead, he whispered, “I just…I want to know why he didn’t want us.”
H
I gripped the edge of the chair. It felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room.
Andy continued, his words breaking into my thoughts. “Is it because I did something wrong? Or…because I’m not good enough?”
My strong, resilient little boy was breaking right in front of me, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
“Andy, no,” I managed to say, my voice cracking. “Bub, that’s not
“It’s okay!” he interrupted quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth in a rush. He plastered on a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, those big, expressive eyes that I loved so much. “You don’t have to, Mommy. I was just asking. I’ll go back to sleep now.”
Before I could stop him, he slid off my lap and headed for his room, his shoulders hunched under a weight no five- year–old should have to carry.
I watched his back, feeling my heart break with every step he took. I closed my eyes for a second and let out a deep breath.
“Wait, bub,” I called after him before I could stop myself.
+26 BONUS
Chdater 19–You’re Screwed
He stopped in the doorway, turning to look at me with a hopeful expression that made my chest ache even more. Behind me, Sarah, who had been quietly suffering on the couch, watching the whole exchange, raised her eyebrows at me,
“Don’t say something stupid,” she muttered under her breath. “Please, Julia.”
I ignored her.
“I’ll do it for you,” I said, my eyes locked on Andy.
Sarah made a strangled noise. “Oh no,” she muttered, clear y panicking now.
Andy’s face lit up like I’d just promised him the world. “Really? It wouldn’t be too hard?”
“No,” I lied, the word slipping out.
His smile was so bright, so full of relief and happiness, that it made the lie worth it. At least, for now.
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