SABRINA'S POV
I am embarrassed to know that the alpha knows he even haunts me in my dreams. He enjoys all the pain that he can inflict on me. I don't understand why it wasn't me that deceived him. I am not even sure what is really going on anymore. I am chained to his bedroom every single day I don't get to go outside or do anything. I get fed once a day which is better than nothing; I guess. I worry if my pup is going to be ok I am not really sure especially with him knowing. He doesn't beat me as much, which I am surprised. I haven't gone a day without him raping me I hate it he makes me enjoy it he gets pleasesure out of him forcing me to like it. I am not even sure how long it has been since I've been here. It seems like an internally I don't know how much more I can deal with. As I sit here naked with a chain around my neck and wait for him to come back to do as he pleases day in and day out.
Jazz tries to keep me positive like she has always done, but she too is getting weak. The bruises on my body stay as she does everything she can to protect and nourish the pup. Being so malnourished has its consequences especially to my Wolf no matter how powerful you are you still need fuel for your body. I know the only reason he is letting me have my baby it's, so he can control me. There won't be any escaping him if they don't save me before my pup is here. I can't risk my baby's life I am so scared of what is coming. I don't know how to even gain the alpha's trust to get the hell out of here. I thought things would get easier, but they don't he doesn't allow any privileges at all to me. His hate for me shines through more now than what it has ever done. Now I am starting to wonder if his hate is turning into lust for enjoyment of making me miserable.
I know that my pain turns him on as soon as he starts inflicting it he gets hard. He is a monster that is for sure his lust for causing me pain is overpowering him. He does not allow anybody else around me, only him. He says I don't deserve to talk to anyone but him finding. I don't dare ask him for anything I'm terrified if I ask for something he will make me pay for it. I just try to keep to myself as much as possible thinking about my family is what keeps me going. I just wish we were ready to defeat him when he came. So, I wouldn't have to be living this way again it was so nice to be happy. I know I will be happy again it's just I am lonely and in pain all the time. It was easier before having Tonya around, but now it's like unbearable. I am not giving up even though I feel so sorry for myself it's ridiculous I will continue to fight. I will continue to fight I don't have another choice I need to fight for my child.
The door swings open I jump terrified of what is about to come not sure what kind of mood he is in today hoping It's not a terrible of a mood. I don't say anything I don't look at him; I know that his reactions are not always kind. I try to keep to myself as much as possible sometimes he just comes in and walks back out. Other times he comes in and gets what he wants from me and leaves.
“Stand up Sabrina and walk over here now.”
I stand up and walk over to him with my head down, not wanting to look at his face. Knowing whatever he is about to do, I am not going to like I hate him. He takes the chain off of my neck, I feel instant relief of the pounds dropping off my body feels so good.
“Since you have been a good girl, Sabrina, I decided to allow you to get a shower today because you are starting to fucking stink.”
I don't say a word I do not speak when I am not supposed to trying to keep the abuse to a minimum. He might see me as weak, but I am not it's all a game right. For now, I submit to him, I will never be his, I am just trying to survive.
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