HAPTER 93
JESS
The late afternoon sun filtered through the curtains, casting a soft golden hue across the room where I sat cross–legged on my bed. It felt like a different world, but the familiar chaos of my mind still haunted the edges of my reality.
One week had passed since I woke up in that hospital room. I was back home, but was I back to normal?
I had missed my graduation ceremony–along with Laure. Instead, we were huddled in bed together, eating snacks and watching the whole thing from the video call with Sam.
I watched, holding my breath to see if he was there. If I could see him, but he wasn’t, or maybe Sam made sure she didn’t point the phone in his direction.
He didn’t even visit me in the hospital or send me a message… nothing. I wanted to say thank you to him for saving my life… I wanted to tell him… ugh. It was pointless. These thoughts were pointless.
The worst part was the nightmares. My memories flooded back in dizzying cascades. They never came as coherent scenes; instead, they were fragmented shards of a nightmare universe- the sounds of sirens, jagged glass, and darkness swallowing me whole.
The nightmares tormented me, forcing me awake in terror, my
CHAPTER 93
heart racing and my body slick with sweat. I had no idea I was screaming until Josh woke me up a few times. For the past 3 days, though, it has stopped. I didn’t wake up screaming, and Josh said I’d been sleeping through the night, though there was something he wasn’t telling me. I could see it on his face.
It didn’t matter. I was feeling better, and my headaches were less severe. I get to take my arm out of the sling in a few days and then start going for walks.
Our parents had left to return to Europe–precisely what I expected, but it didn’t lessen the disappointment. I was thankful for the space, though. I was not used to having them here all the time. Josh was mostly at Laura or practice–I’d heard he got drafted along with Luke, and both of them were training for pre-
season.
This morning, I had a pit in my stomach that had nothing to do with what had happened but more with what was going to happen. Today, Tom was coming over, and I had decided today was the day I would tell him it wouldn’t work.
Deep down, I think he knows, but I need to finish this.
I practiced what I wanted to say in my head, trying to find the perfect words, only to be interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. My stomach dropped. He had arrived.
“Shit. Okay. Jess. You got this,” I chanted to myself.
With a deep breath, I smoothed my hair back, attempting to soothe my racing heart, but the instant he walked in, all I felt was guilt. Tom stood there, holding a bouquet of bright red flowers, his sweet, boyish grin lighting up his face as he stepped over the threshold.
08 02
CHAPTER 13
As I spoke, I saw that sparkle in his eye dim, a flicker of realization dawning. “But I think… I think we need to break up.”
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