Lost Me, Gained Regret (Jane and Bryant Ferguson) novel Chapter 292

We were adults and had cleared the air between us days ago. It was evident what Mark's kindness and attention meant. I was at a loss for how to respond. I had said everything I needed to say that day. Constantly turning him down would only make things awkward, and we might end up not even being friends.

Mark hesitated, "Jane, am I making you feel pressured?"

I fiddled with my fork, about to speak, when he continued thoughtfully, "Like I said, you don't need to respond to anything. Just think of it as something friends do for each other."

"When you're ready to start a new relationship, we can take it slow," he added.

My heart warmed at his words. I might have fallen deeply for him if I hadn't gone through that disastrous marriage with Bryant and if I were still at the age of acting on impulse. But I was afraid. The cost of getting my heart involved was too much for me to bear.

I slowly let go of my fork. "What if that day never comes?"

I didn't want to hide anything from Mark anymore, not when we had come this far. Seeing his stunned expression, I put down my fork. "If Bryant and I had never divorced, what would you have done?"

"I would've stayed single," Mark replied with a forced smile, the soft light casting a glow over his head.

"I won't lie to you,” he continued, “I returned to the country partly because I heard things between you and Bryant weren't as perfect as they seemed online." He looked at me squarely, a hint of self-mockery in his voice. "Does that make me despicable? Hoping for your divorce, hoping for a sliver of a chance with you."

"No way. Before my divorce, you've always maintained your boundaries," I said, caught off guard by Mark's candidness, with my words barely escaping my lips. "But divorce doesn't mean I'm ready to be with someone else again. Up to now, just like Chris, you're important to me, a good friend."

The light in his eyes dimmed a bit when I mentioned "a good friend." But I didn't want to deceive him.