Lost Me, Gained Regret (Jane and Bryant Ferguson) novel Chapter 70

His eyes drilled into mine, a deep concern veiling them, "Can't it be for any other reason?"

"Like what?" I couldn't deny I was fishing for something more.

His lips barely moved as he spoke, "I just want you to be well."

"…Sounds like something you'd say at a family Thanksgiving dinner."

A thought flickered through my mind, and before I knew it, a smile crept up, "Save it for Timothy's birthday bash next month."

Wishing me health. Wishing himself a lifetime of happiness with Margaret?

When the nurse came to draw my blood, I instinctively pulled back as she disinfected my arm, my body tensing up.

I was scared. I'd always been scared.

As a kid, it was always Dad who held me, with Mom gripping my other hand, coaxing me through every needle and every blood draw.

And there were always rewards.

But over these past years, my health had been decent. A common cold here, some over-the-counter meds there – hardly ever needing blood drawn.

So, my fear never really faded. But fear or not, I was grown up now, without my parents around.

"Don't be afraid."

Suddenly, Bryant’s warm hand enveloped mine, his thumb gently caressing the back of my hand as he soothingly whispering, "I'm here with you."

"You being here doesn't make it hurt any less."

"Then squeeze my hand if it hurts. I'll bear the pain with you." His voice was velvety smooth.

I looked down to see the man who always seemed to tower over me, now half-kneeling by my side, filling my heart and yet, stirring a pang of sadness. I murmured, "But you can't stay with me forever."

My voice was too low, he didn't catch it. "What did you say?"

"Nothing." I shook my head.

Some thoughts are better kept inside than voiced.