Elisa's eyes were lifeless, devoid of any will to live. This frightened Micah. "Ellie, is there nothing you want?" he asked.
"There is something I want," Elisa said vacantly. Her face suddenly felt icy cold and she covered her eyes with her palm. Only then did she realize she was crying.
"Micah, in my life, other than not having met my mother, what don't I have? Wealth, power, even the man I've loved for so many years is by my side. Everything she could want is right in front of her, within reach yet still out of grasp."
Clearly Elisa did not wish to continue discussing this with him. She turned and sat at the computer, continuing to go through files. Micah's visit today to persuade her had been futile. The Elisa now had locked herself away in a narrow, dim space where no one could enter.
"Does Hamish know you're sick?"
"He doesn't know, and I don't want him to know either. Whether I'm sick or not, I'm still the proud Elisa, never one to fish for sympathy with illness. Besides, Hamish might not even sympathize. Knowing I'm about to die, at most he'd regret losing his walking blood bank that can no longer donate blood to Lila."
Micah was silent. Finally he sighed softly, took two bottles of medication out of his bag and placed them on the coffee table - strong painkillers and anticancer drugs.
"Don't drink coffee anymore. Take the medication properly and eat on time," Micah instructed, then took a deep breath and left.
Hearing the door close, Elisa looked up at the two bottles on the coffee table, then took out her phone to glance at her messages. Other than work stuff there was nothing.
It had been half a month since Hamish was home. Elisa had gradually given up her habits - no longer leaving lights on for him or cooking dinner waiting for his return. But late at night she still couldn't kick the habit of watching her phone.
She thought she could get rid of her feelings for Hamish all at once, but this emotion was like drugs - once you try it, you never know how terrifying it is until it's too late. By the time you realize, it has already grown into a towering tree, blocking out all light. She wanted to quit, which meant hacking it out from the roots. It was something that had grown on her heart, entangled in the softest flesh. Just thinking about it made her heart ache.
Elisa opened her contacts. The only person listed there was Hamish. She tapped his name.
The call rang three times with no answer. This was normal, nothing to be disappointed about. Other than feeling a little chilled inside, all that remained was numbness.
Elisa persisted tirelessly with the calls, the first time she had been this persistent since getting married.
"Beep beep." On the fourth call, the ringing continued for a long time. Perhaps annoyed by her persistence, Hamish finally picked up.
"What is it?"
Hamish's voice came through the phone to Elisa's ears, not much warmer than her own hand.
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