Mr.Right novel Chapter 36

Heartbreaks are unfortunately a common part of the human experience and it really, really sucks. We've all been there, and it's safe to say we all want to avoid experiencing heartbreak ever again.

"I feel like my heart's been ripped out," "it was gut-wrenching," "like a slap on the face."— all hint at the way we associate with physical and emotional pain.

Hormones aren't just for randy teenagers. Our bodies produce a long list of hormones everyday for different purposes, including falling in and out of love. Love can be addictive, like a drug, because of the hormones our brain releases when we become really attached to someone.

I've finally come to the realization that what happened with Tony was just depression. What I'm feeling now is the real heartbreak. It can often feel like it's the end of the world. No amount of pain have ever felt so agonizing or concentrated. It's like a giant hole is being pummeled into my chest, with no hope of repair.

I cry, I scream, I watch Netflix until I've seen every documentary my subscription has to offer and yet nothing seems to smooth my heartbreak or soothe the longing I feel.

True story: Breakups are a bitch, and heartbreak is a bigger bitch than fucking karma.

I think I can say with pretty solid confidence, most people would rather get smacked in the face with a metal pole than gets their hearts broken. I am ninety-nine percent of those 'most people'.

I hear my room door open as I feel someone's presence behind me. I'm laid down on my bed so that my back is facing the door. It's been three days since I got back home. My room is still the same except that Mom already took off the picture posters of Zac Effron from my room walls.

"Your mom told me to come get you. Dinner would be ready in a minute."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well then, that's extra food for me." Dad says and sees himself out of the room.

Wow. Nice parenting Dad.

I pick up my phone from my nightstand to check my messages but there's nothing, nada, nil, zero, zilch, and any other word you can use to describe the rate at which someone can feel so deserted and worthless.

Without wasting anymore time sulking over what happened, I bounce back on my feet and get myself a job as a Librarian at the town's library. It's pretty refreshing than being in isolation in my enclosed room. The students that come visit keep me company and I made friends with a few.

Every morning at the crosswalk on my way to work, I see Him at the other side of the road dressed in his usual Doctor's coat and smiling brightly at me but when I smile back, he vanishes into thin air, like he's imprinted into my brain and appears when I want him to.

"Happy Valentine's Day Miss White!" A bubbly voice pierces through my ears as the door to the library bursts open, making all eyes dart to the owner of the voice and scowling at her lousiness. That's Amanda. My overly lively sixteen year old regular customer at the library. She's taken this unusual liking for me from the very first day I started work and I have to admit, it really is a joy when she's around.

"It's Valentine's Day already?" I take a quick look at my calendar and she rolls her eyes.

"The whole country knows it. Have you been living under a rock?"

"Metaphorically, yes."

"Anyway! Here's your gift," Amanda hands me a box of brown chocolates with a red ribbon tied at the center.

"Wow, thank you. I didn't have anything prepared for you, sorry."

"No that's ok! This wasn't originally meant for you, it was supposed to be for my crush but then he turned down my proposal. His loss." She does a hair flip and I smile at her cockiness.

"It's simple logic you don't ask someone to be your valentine on valentine's day. What if he has a date already?"

"I got it!" Her face lit up in a bright grin. "I'll ask him to be my date to next year's valentine so he wouldn't be able to say no. Thanks, Miss White. You're the best!"

"Uhm... you're welcome?" I watch her as she dashes out of the library, stomping her boots to the floor as she runs.

I get to close from work early because it's a Saturday. The bus ride takes only fifteen minutes but I still feel stressed, more emotionally than physically.

Both my parents exchange weird looks when I eat two bananas for dinner and head straight for my room because everyone knows I don't eat fruits. If it's not caked then I'm not having it.