My Fiancée Hates Me novel Chapter 103

I soon found myself on the ground with the vial spilled over by my side and Erik hovering over me with his entire body.

"Do you have to remember everything? Why can we not just continue living like this?" Erik asked with a pained expression.

"It would all be a lie in the end," I said coldly.

"...If not remembering is making you suffer either way, I will tell you the truth, so don't take suspicious drugs anymore," Erik said as he helped me up and sat me back on my bed.

"I want to hear all of it," I said.

"...I will start with the fact that we are no longer engaged. You went through with it when you requested to go through with it to my father. He always had a soft spot for you and the Duchess, so he readily agreed when you asked for the dissolution of our engagement," Erik said.

"You agreed?"

"Of course, I didn't," Erik said.

When Erik told me that I had left him because I had proclaimed that I was deeply in love with Garett. I could not believe it at first, but gradually felt that all of the pieces fit together despite still not remembering one thing about him from our second lives.

As I heard all of this, I could only think 'Wow, the other me was pretty wild'...

I must have had a crazy meter running to think of such a reason as to use Garett in my schemes. I had always thought that I had acted within rationality, but for me to do such a thing, I can only call myself a true deviant.

"In the past, I always knew that you had a special place for Garett in your heart," Erik said.

I felt my heart drop for a moment.

"...I never did anything disgraceful with him while I was married to you," I said.

"...I knew that Garett was in love with you ever since we were young. His eyes would always follow you wherever you were, but he always kept silent about his feelings because you were going to be my Queen. People who were jealous of his excellence put up baseless rumors about his improper feelings towards you but that also resulted in rumors of your infidelity to which it reached my ears. Of course, I did not believe in them but had to find out Garett's true feelings. When I confronted him about his feelings, he told me honestly that he was sincerely in love with you but would not do anything that would dare hurt your reputation and left right before our wedding. In my heart, I was a little glad because I could then continue to keep you to myself," Erik confessed.

"...Erik."

"You were perfect when you supported me as my other half, but I never once really saw you open your heart to me after our marriage. Whenever I told you that I loved you, it always seemed as if you were parroting after me...I just thought that you were the type who just could not fully open your heart," Erik said solemnly.

"No, that is not true. I have opened my heart to you before..."

While I was receiving lessons as the future Queen, many of my tutors told me that it was shameful to show emotion or cling to Erik, so I closed off my heart and most of my emotions.

"You probably do not remember the day you saw Garett's corpse very well either. Against all advisory, you personally removed his head from the wooden stake in the ground and cradled him in your arms. You cried your heart out for what seemed like hours," Erik said.

Images of that day started flooding into my head. Everything was just as Erik said. I cradled Garett's head in my arms. I could remember the little details such as the lavender color of my dress that I wore that day, the heavy metallic scent of blood I smelled, the dirt that covered the ends of my dress, and how I was covered with Garett's blood.

The only thing that I could not recall was Erik's face that day...

"I was the one who refused to exchange Garett for the documents on Asmarian ancient weaponry, but you never blamed me and acted as if you were the one who let him die. It was not long after that you changed," Erik continued.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You were relentless and cruel. You started a purge of the entire kingdom starting with Marquis Pillar's son as a prime example. You also brought to light a number of corrupted Nobles and either whipped them into shape or executed ones you saw no hope in," Erik said.

As he told me what had happened in the past, my memories of that time started flooding back to me.