My Personal Lycan King novel Chapter 55

VICTORIA'S POV

It was awkward. Too awkward for my liking.

Currently, I and Alexander were laying on the bed, side by side on our backs, looking at the ceiling, with an arms distance between us.

Turning my head, I looked at Alexander who looked no less uncomfortable than I am.

It was my fault, to begin with. Wasn't I the one who made things more awkward than they already were? 

'Stupid Victoria!' I wanted to reprimand myself, but was it really of any use?

I wanted to ease this tension, but what am I supposed to do in a situation like this, when it was me who started it in the first place?

30 minutes ago~~

Entering the room, Alexander placed me on the bed and stood straight, looking at me with his ever so dazzling smile.

Smiling back at him, I sat Indian style waiting for his next move as I was feeling super nervous.

"Let me freshen up quickly, and then we can spend some time knowing each other before we sleep. Sounds good?" He asked, looking at me with that cute look that has me wrapped around his finger.

I was soo dazed looking at his face that I didn't even realize when I nodded.

It was not before I saw him taking off his coat, did I realize what he was doing.

"Hey! What are you doing? Put that on again!" I whispered yelled involuntarily, afraid that someone might hear me, not even knowing why I was having such a weird reaction to it.

"I am just putting off my clothes. Do you wish me to shower with my coat on?" He chuckled, but I wasn't hearing any of it.

"You can't take off your clothes in front of me, like that. How about, we sleep like this only?" I suggested.

"You are insane, Victoria." He chuckled again before he took off his pants, which made me shriek again.

"Why are you exposing your legs to me!! I am telling you, I'll beat you to death if you thought about doing anything with me. I swear to god I'll destroy your baby-making machine." 

Geez! Victoria! Seriously?

"Calm down, Victoria. I am just going for a shower. Besides, aren't you exposing your legs to me for so long? Now you have a problem with mine?" He quirked his brows before picking up his clothes and throwing them in the basket.

Well, he does have a point. Wasn't I being sexist now?

"I...I...can you umm... Nevermind." I said before laying on the bed quizzically, not knowing what to say anymore.

Closing my eyes, I tried to relax and calm my nerves, thinking everything will be alright. 

To be honest, I wasn't afraid that Alexander would do something to me. I was more afraid that be able to control my lusty bitch if I lose control of myself. I am having these lusty thoughts about him before I even knew that I was his mate. And now that I have a legit reason to make out with him, how can I talk myself out of it?

Hearing the click sound of the door opening, I instantly went still, pretending I was fast asleep when I felt him near me. 

Feeling his hand on my bare thigh, I couldn't help but shriek in horror as I felt pleasurable tingles shooting up my whole body, making me want to ask him to touch me more.

"What the hell are you doing?!!" I asked horrified.

"I...I thought you were asleep and wanted to cover you with the quilt." He said, with a cute confused look on his face.

Looking at the quilt in his hand, I laughed awkwardly and muttered a quick sorry before covering myself with the quilt, with only my eyes peeping through it.

Unlike other boys, he was considerate enough to wear a loose t-shirt and half pants after a shower and not come in front of me with a towel wrapped around his torso. That would've surely freaked out my lusty self.

~~present

"Umm...you said we will talk and we will try to know about each other.." I started, not wanting to bear with this awkward silence anymore.

'Victoria, he is your mate. What are you afraid of? It's not like he will judge you because of your lusty thoughts. Wolves are meant to have those thoughts about each other. Just look it that way. You married the person you love. Won't you want to make love to each other and show how much you love the other person? Besides, I am sure he is having a harder time than you, controlling himself around you because he is the alpha king, which means, his emotions and hormones are 10 times heightened than normal wolves.' Carla said in a soothing voice.

'Way to go, Carla. You just told her that a slight movement from her might result in them bedding each other.'Joy scoffed before disappearing again.

Huh! Carla was kind of right. We love each other, we want to be with each other and have already accepted each other, then why am I making it harder for Alexander than it already is?

I need to control my anxiousness and fear. I know why this all was happening. It was because I was afraid he will leave just like everybody else did. Like my biological parents, my adoptive parents, and even friends back home. I was afraid that I won't be able to take the pain if he ever leaves me, and maybe that's why I was trying to maintain this distance among us so that I don't get too attached to him.

But if I keep acting like this, then what is the guarantee that he will be with me for the rest of his life?

Sighing loudly at my trail of negative thoughts, I looked at Alexander who was looking at me with a smile on his face.

"Sorry, I didn't catch you. What were you saying?" I asked.

"I said, you can change into track pants if that dress is making you uncomfortable. Don't you think your body will go stiff if you keep laying in the same position?" He asked.

Even after I yelled at him soo many times, he is still considering if I was feeling alright or not? I looked into his eyes that had nothing but true admiration, care, and love, and could not help but want to smack myself.