Damon had been melting my heart lately.
He was already doing that before but it was way more frequent now. So when those words left his mouth, I didalt hesitze
I felt his heartbeat race and his breath hitch as I moved my hands slowly up his body.
My hands moved from his neck to his cheeks, holding them with both hands as I kissed everywhere on his face gently.
Then I leaned back and stared into his eyes. “Was that too much?”
His eyes were dark and hooded, slightly narrowed too, I could see a storm rolling beneath those blise orbs. A storm he couldn’t and didn’t want to burden me with
“No,” he whispered, his voice thick and rough. “More.”
I moved my ass down on his body so I could touch his chest properly without restricting myself when my core pressed against the bulge in his pants.
I let out an involuntary moan.
His hands reached out to hold me. “Fuck, Gabrielle.”
The rumble in his voice, the way his eyes held mine, and the way he was holding my waist down–it all did something to me.
I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his hard muscles beneath my palm.
I watched his expression contort into something painful and then, he stopped me. He grabbed both of my hands with one of his and took them off him.
“No more,” he gritted out. “That’s enough.”
I stared at him for a moment before snatching my hands away from his. I got off the bed, picked up my robe from the floor, and put it on, suddenly feeling too exposed in front of him.
“Gabrielle, come back,” he said roughly.
I didn’t go back.
I stood in the center of the room, folding my arms across my chest. “I can’t understand what you’re going through, Damon. I know that. But I also can’t stay there and watch you continue to shut down every time.”
He was still sitting on the bed, his back to me. “Come back.”
My chest tightened. “Why? So you could push me away again?”
He didn’t respond immediately.
He stood up and took a slow step towards me, “I didn’t mean to push you away. I can’t explain it even if I wanted to. It’s just… too much.”
Theard the sincerity in his voice and it gutted me. But how could I help him when he didn’t even want to acknowledge the problem?
I shook my head. “You don’t get it. I can’t watch you go on like this. I feel like you’re never going to let me know you.”
He paused a few feet from me, staring down at me with that intense look that made my stomach flip. “I understand. I’m sorry.”
My eyes watered but I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill.
1/3
CHAPTER 108
+25 Bonus
We could never be happy together as long as our pasts were in our way. And even then, happiness still wasn’t guaranteed.
He closed the space between us and I took a step back, my back hitting the wall. He placed one of his hands on the wall beside me and held my chin up with the other.
My breath stuttered.
“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice low. “I don’t know how to make it stop.”
Those words hit harder than anything else he could have said.
My breath trembled as I stared at up him, at the way his jaw was tight like he was holding himself together.
“Damon,” I said softly, saying his name like it was something fragile. “You don’t have to shut me out every time it gets hard.”
His eyes searched mine, frantic beneath the control he wore so well.
“I don’t want you knowing half of what I’ve experienced. I’ve buried that part too deep. But when you touch me, every memory tries to force its way back.”
I swallowed, forcing myself to breathe but it was hard with him this close.
“But at the same time,” he continued, “only you could make me forget. You’re my poison and my antidote, Gabrielle.”
He didn’t seem to realize what those words did to me.
Poison and antidote.
My chest tightened painfully at the conflict written so clearly on his face.
His hand was still holding my chin up, his thumb resting just beneath my lower lip like he didn’t trust himself to let go.
“And that terrifies me,” he admitted.
His grip loosened, his thumb brushing my skin in an almost reverent way.
“I’ve survived by shutting things down, Gabrielle. By not feeling. But you…” His jaw clenched and he looked away for a second. ” You undo all of that without even trying.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, his breath warm on my face. My hands curled into his shirt to steady myself.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he murmured. “But I also don’t want you carrying the weight of things that should’ve killed me a long time ago.”
I felt my heart shatter at the thought of death and him in the same sentence.
“Then don’t push me away,” I said softly. “Let me choose.”
I just wanted to make him happy.
I wanted to take away his pain and maybe fix him while I was at it but I knew he wouldn’t want that.
He wouldn’t even let me all the way in.
Yet, I was intoxicated by him.
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