Act Like You Love Me (Jessica) novel Chapter 111

Chapter 111

Jessica’s POV

There was still no word about Aunt Lydia’s situation, and it was driving me absolutely insane.

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The waiting room clock ticked like a metronome of doom, each second amplifying the silence from behind those ER doors

Nurses bustled past with clipboards and sympathetic glances, but no one had answers

My phone stayed dark-no calls, no texts from the doctors or Ella giving me updates on Adrian

The uncertainty gnawed at me, a relentless beast chewing on my sanity.

And overlaying it all was Aaron’s face from earlier that disappointed, pained gaze that pierced straight through me, setting my heart on fire with guilt.

It replayed in my mind like a broken record, his eyes accusing, his voice cracking with betrayal.

I couldn’t take it anymore, the noise in my head was deafening, a roar of regrets and what-ifs screaming for release.

I just wanted to shut it all off, to end the torment. I wanted to erase the last six years, the last six hours, the last six minutes

So, without a second thought, I bolted from the hospital, the automatic doors whooshing behind me like a final exhale.

The cool night air didn’t help. As I walked aimlessly, my decision to flee all those years ago haunted me like a physical ghost.

Why did I think that was Aaron on the deck?

“Would you change your mind if you saw this?”

Kennedy-that serpent of a grandfather-had said while pointing his cane with that smug, satisfied grin, as if he were unveiling some grand prize.

I hadn’t seen the face clearly, but I had seen his back. It was hauntingly like Aaron’s—the same broad shoulders, the same arrogant tilt of the head.

None of his cousins had that exact build, that athletic poise honed from years on the court. Or so I had told myself to justify my cowardice.

I’d convinced myself he was the only person Fiona could shamelessly kiss in the open.

Back then, she was a predator, a desperate girl who took what she wanted. I wouldn’t put it past her to kiss a random guy from the cruise just to stir trouble.

A trick of the light. A doppelgänger. A ghost. I tell myself these things now, but the truth is simpler: I was so prepared for the betrayal that I went looking for the knife.

And when I couldn’t find one, I let his grandfather hand it to me

The reality swirled in my head, a toxic brew mixed with regrets and self-loathing.

If only I’d known… God, that’s the worst phrase, isn’t it? The ultimate trap of hindsight. Six good years, wasted.

Aaron had missed everything: Adrian’s first wobbly steps across the living room rug, his gummy smiles during teething nights when I’d rocked him for hours, the sheer agony and joy of labor where I’d screamed and pushed in that sterile delivery room.

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09:41 Mon, Jan 26 G BB.

Chapter 111

He missed all these because of my stupidity, my cowardice.

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He was right-no matter how I tried to paint it, I hadn’t loved high enough to fight for us, to trust that maybe, just maybe, what I’d seen was a misunderstanding.

I’d let my emotions take the wheel, ruining everything in their path.

Back then, I’d noticed him changing, softening around the edges

He never outright said he liked me, but it was there in the little things: the way he’d bring me chili dog and snacks, the tenderness in his touch after that night together, the quiet apologies for his high school cruelty woven into our conversations.

But I was too blinded by those old memories-the bullying, the taunts that had chipped away at my self-worth-and insecurities had built a fortress around my heart. I couldn’t see past them.

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The truth is, I’ve been holding onto a victim complex. It protected me from responsibility for a while, but now it’s just a cage.

I’m starting to realize that my own perspective is the thing hurting me the most

The pain in my chest burned hot and unbearable, a fire that spread to my limbs, making them heavy.

I didn’t care that I was in the middle of the road; the highway stretched empty under the moonlit sky, no cars in sight at this ungodly hour.

It was the middle of the night, and I was utterly alone. The perfect time to put an end to it all.

My knees buckled, and I collapsed onto the asphalt, the rough surface biting into my skin through my jeans.

A loud cry tore from my throat, piercing the silence like a siren’s wail. It echoed off the distant trees, raw and primal, carrying all the grief I’d bottled up.

I don’t know how long I knelt there, sobbing until my voice cracked, but eventually, I dragged myself up and kept walking.

The city lights faded behind me as I wandered toward the edge, rawn like a moth to the flickering promise of oblivion.

Soon, I found myself at the edge of a bridge spanning a wide river, the water below a vast, inky blackness that whispered invitations.

My hands gripped the cold metal rail, the chill seeping into my bones as I took a deep, shuddering breath.

The wind whipped my hair, carrying the faint scent of damp earth and distant rain.

Was there really a point to living anymore? Aunt Lydia might no pull through. Aaron? His forgiveness felt like a distant dream, shattered by my secrets.

And Adrian… oh God, when he learned the truth, that I’d kept his father from him, he might hate me too,

The burden of guilt was crushing, a weight I wasn’t sure I could rry as long as I drew oxygen.

More tears rolled down my cheeks, hot against the night air.

I lifted myself up, swinging one leg over the rail, then the other, until I perched precariously on the edge. The drop called to me, promising peace.

“What are you waiting for, Jessica? An applause? A show for people to come beg you not to jump?”

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