Act Like You Love Me (Jessica) novel Chapter 83

Chapter 83

Jessica’s POV

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I felt like a hollowed-out shell as I stood by the bed, shoving clothes into a suitcase with a mechanical numbness.

My chest was tight, a dull ache throbbing behind my ribs where my heart used to be.

“You’re doing that thing where you overthink until your brow hitches,” Aunt Lydia said, leaning against the doorframe.

She looked paler than usual, but she was wearing a brave smile.

“I shouldn’t be going, Auntie. Are you sure you’ll be okay? The appointment is huge, and I won’t be there to hear what the doctor says, or to hold your hand, or—”

She cut me off with a soft, dry laugh.

“Jessica, I am a grown woman, not a porcelain doll. I managed before you came back into my life, and I can manage a cab ride to a clinic. Go. Do your job. Maybe this trip is exactly what you need to finally breathe again.”

I wanted to believe her, but the knot in my stomach only tightened. Just then, the door creaked open, and Adrian shuffled in.

His usual spark was gone, replaced by a drooping posture that made him look far older than his age.

“Momma? Are you really going to come back?”

I felt a sharp tug at my heartstrings. I decided to tease him, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I heard the paella in Spain is so good I might just stay there forever and become a professional dancer.”

Adrian’s face crumpled. His bottom lip trembled, and his eyes filled with a sudden, panicked sheen.

My heart shattered instantly. The joke wasn’t funny; it was cruel to a boy who had already lost so much without knowing why.

“Oh, baby, no! I’m kidding. I’m so sorry,” I cried, dropping to my knees and pulling him into a crushing hug.

I tucked his head under my chin, rocking him back and forth.

“Momma is always coming back. Always. I’m just going to work so I can buy you that big Lego set you wanted. I’ll be back before Tuesday, I promise.”

He pulled back slightly, sniffing.

“Can you bring me those books? The ones with the maps of Spain? And… and the sports magazines?”

16:03 Wed, Jan 21

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Chapter 83

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He was obsessed with two things: the world and sports. I always made sure to curate his magazines carefully.

I avoided anything that featured Aaron’s face-it was getting harder by the day, considering he was the undisputed highlight of the basketball world and a staple of sports media.

I strictly censored the tabloids that gossiped about “bad boy” athletes hopping from woman to woman or tangled in drama with multiple baby mamas.

I refused to let that cynical world-view corrupt my son’s heart; I wanted him to believe in something better.

“Encyclopedias and sports, got it,” I said, forcing a cheerful smile.

But as we pulled away, the shadow returned to his face. He stared at his feet, his small thumbs digging into his palms.

“What’s wrong, buddy? I told you. I was just being silly. I’m coming home.”

“I know, Momma. It’s just…” He let out a sigh that sounded far too heavy for a six-year-old.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Now I was truly terrified. I pulled him back into my lap, my voice dropping to a soft, coercive hum.

“Hey. Look at me. I don’t need you playing the knight in shining armor for Momma, okay? That’s my job. Tell me what’s got you pouting.”

He looked at me with an expression that broke me.

“You’ll get sad. Momma.” He whispered.

My breath hitched, catching painfully in my throat. My chest felt like it was being squeezed by a vice.

At only six years old, his little soul was already scanning my face for cracks, prioritizing my fragile emotions over his own needs.

It was the ultimate indictment of my parenting: I had tried so hard to protect him, but instead, I’d turned my son into a boy who felt he had to protect me.

“I can handle being sad. Addie. What I can’t handle-is you keeping secrets from me.”

He exhaled again, his voice small.

“There’s a game coming up at school,” he continued, his voice dropping to a dejected murmur.

“Basketball with the Dads. The winner gets a trophy and a signed jersey. Every kid is bringing their father, but I don’t have anyone. And…”

He stopped, looking up at me with eyes so similar to Aaron’s it made my lungs ache.

“I know you do so much for me, Momma. I appreciate that. But sometimes, I wish he never left.”

16:03 Wed, Jan 21

Chapter 83

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Hot, stinging tears immediately spilled over. If I thought I knew what pain felt like, this was a whole new level of devastation.

The irony was a hard pill to swallow.

His father was a literal god on the court, a man whose jersey hung in thousands of bedrooms, and yet my son was bowing out of a school game because he felt he was the only one playing alone.

He was suffering because of my own choices.

When I brought him into this world. I had made a silent, sacred vow to be his everything-to fill every gap and shield him from every storm.

I thought I could outrun the void I’d created by leaving Aaron.

I thought a mother’s love, doubled and fierce, would be enough to compensate for the silence on the other

side of the dinner table.

But looking at his trembling lip. I realized I had failed. I had provided the clothes, the books, and the safety, but I couldn’t manufacture a father’s presence out of thin air.

1 had given him a life, but I’d also given him a hunger for a man he didn’t even know he was allowed to miss. It was a debt I had incurred on his behalf six years ago, and now, the interest was being paid in his tears.

I had never spoken about Aaron. I never told him his father was a king in a glass tower.

Somehow, in his little head he’d filled in the blanks with the worst possible narrative.

I looked at Aunt Lydia for help, but she just turned away, her own eyes glistening.

Addie.” I called softly, wiping my face with the back of my hand. ‘Who told you your dad left us?”

His shoulders slumped.

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