Clumsy Beast, Keep Your Paws Off novel Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Chapter 16: A Bitch and a White Lotus in the Woods

Su Qinglan stretched under the rough fur blanket, her body sinking into the comfort of the cave’s stone bed.

For once, she had slept without nightmares of the apocalypse. Just... peace.

She let out a long sigh. "Ahh, finally, a good night’s sleep."

The air outside was already bright. Warm sunlight spilled through the cave entrance. Somewhere in the distance, birds chirped and cubs squealed.

She yawned, rubbing her messy hair, just about to roll herself up and start the day when...

[Good morning, Host~!]

A too-cheerful, sticky-sweet voice sang directly in her head. 𝑓𝑟ℯ𝘦𝓌𝘦𝘣𝑛𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝑐ℴ𝓂

Su Qinglan froze. Her lips twitched.

Oh no. Not this little scammer again.

Sure enough, Xuyu’s mischievous giggle echoed in her skull like an annoying morning bell. [Hehe, did you sleep well, host? I worked hard last night fixing my glitch!

Su Qinglan rolled her eyes so hard she almost saw her own brain. Yeah, right. Keep lying. Don’t think I forgot you disappeared yesterday when I just asked you a question.

So she decided to ignore this little scammer, dragging herself up to find water to wash her face. But Xuyu was relentless.

[Ding! Mission Completed: Save Second Beast Husband, Han Jue.]

Su Qinglan froze mid-step. "...Eh?"

[Reward: Half a kilogram of salt. One low-grade pregnancy pill.]

Before she could understand anything. Her eyes went wide. "WHAT?!"

The salt was fine. She could live with salt. But...

Her voice cracked. "What the hell is with the pregnancy pill?! Are you kidding me?!"

Why did this system reward something like this?

[Of course not!] Xuyu’s cute voice chimed innocently. [Host, the world’s population is dwindling. Your tribe has less than thirty cubs out of nearly five hundred beastmen! This is a crisis. You must help with repopulation!

Su Qinglan felt her scalp go numb. "..."

Su Qinglan’s face was already black as the bottom of a pot, but Xuyu wasn’t done.

"With your help the tribe females can conceive, Host~!" the little voice chirped smugly.

[Of course, if you want to contribute more directly to the world, you can always take the pill yourself and roll on the bed with that handsome tiger. I’m sure you were drooling at the sight of him last night...]

Su Qinglan’s mouth twitched violently.

"..."

Her blood pressure spiked.

"SCRAM!" she roared, grabbing the nearest fur blanket and smacking it against the cave wall as if she could beat the system out of existence.

[Eh? Host is shy~]

"Shut up!"

Her entire face darkened like thunderclouds. She stomped to the corner, snatched up a twig, and angrily scrubbed at her teeth as if she could wash away Xuyu’s disgusting words.

Her mouth foamed with bitter bark flavor, but she didn’t stop until her jaw ached. Then she splashed her face with cold water, rubbing hard until her skin stung pink.

Only then did she feel human again.

She muttered to herself, "Who the hell would roll on the bed with that ferocious tiger? I’m not crazy."

But she refused to think about the way Hu Yan’s golden eyes had softened last night when he tasted her cooking. Nope. Absolutely not.

She was scared that he would choke her rather than roll inside the sheets."

But before she could say anything, a sharp voice rang out.

"Well, well. Isn’t this a surprise?"

Su Qinglan turned her head.

A tall female with full brown hair stood there, holding a bunch of green herbs. Her narrow fox-like eyes glittered with disdain as they swept Su Qinglan up and down.

Her lips curved into a mocking smile. "The fatty actually came out of her cave. Who would’ve thought?"

The words were casual, but the jealousy in her gaze wasn’t. Her eyes lingered on Su Qinglan’s fluffy orange hair, burning with the kind of resentment only women could understand.

Su Qinglan blinked once. Then twice. Inside, she sighed. Congratulations, Qinglan, you’ve officially encountered your first beast-world bitch.

But before she could respond, another gentle voice chimed in.

"Don’t say that, Sister Mei."

The speaker was a delicate-looking female with soft eyes and a shy smile. She stepped forward as though to smooth things over, her hands clutching her hide to her chest like a helpless little rabbit.

Her voice was soft and sweet, dripping with innocence. "We shouldn’t speak badly of others. Sister Qinglan must have her reasons for coming out... Let’s not make fun of her."

The other females nodded uneasily, clearly relieved someone had spoken, though their eyes still flicked nervously toward Su Qinglan.

But Su Qinglan saw it clearly: the secret glint of gloating in the girl’s eyes and the way she stood just close enough to "protect" Qinglan while silently enjoying the scene.

Her stomach dropped.

Ah! Perfect. A white lotus.

Now she had both: one fox-faced bitch spewing open mockery and one delicate flower pretending to be kind while throwing subtle oil on the fire.

The corners of Su Qinglan’s lips almost curled into a laugh. Inside her chest, sarcasm boiled up.

What’s this? A whole drama troupe waiting in the woods?