Clumsy Beast, Keep Your Paws Off novel Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Chapter 04: System, You Picked the Wrong Host

Her reflection blinked up at her, wide, uneven eyes, a flat nose that looked like it had been squashed in a door, and lips so thin they could disappear if she breathed too hard.

She tried the same sweet smile she’d given that brat earlier.

Bad idea. Even she flinched.

"...Oh. "Ohhh." She covered her mouth. "No wonder the kid almost cried. I’d cry too if this mug leaned into my personal space."

She stared at herself for another beat, then groaned. "And those cubs weren’t praising him for bravery; they were congratulating him for surviving a disaster zone."

The fish below scattered, probably sensing the emotional damage radiating off her.

Su Qinglan sat on the riverbank for a long moment, staring at her reflection like it was a personal enemy.

...Fine.

With a deep sigh, she straightened her back and said aloud, "It’s still better than living like a sewer rat in the apocalypse."

Her voice echoed over the sparkling water. No bombs, no gunfire, and definitely no cannibals waiting around the corner.

If the price for safety was a body that looked like it had been inflated by an air pump, then so be it. She was not the kind to whine... She had survived worse.

Decision made, she moved downstream, careful not to muddy the pristine spot she’d just admired. Eventually, she found a massive, flat stone jutting out into the water, perfect for a proper wash.

She glanced around to make sure no one was watching. Then, with the casual shamelessness of someone who had bathed in apocalypse puddles before, she stripped every layer off her new oversized frame.

Her skin was... a crime scene. Layers of grime, sweat, and something unidentifiable that might’ve been months of dirt clung to her like a second skin.

The moment she dipped into the cool water, a wave of dirt swirled out around her like an evil aura. The nearby beautiful fish saw this and fled in all directions as if their lives depended on it.

"Wow," Su Qinglan muttered, rubbing at her arm. "Even the fish think I stink."

She scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin turned red, but no matter how much she rubbed, the dirt refused to leave completely. This body’s filth was not the ordinary "missed a shower" kind; it was the "lived in muck for a year" kind.

She blew out a frustrated breath, flicking water off her fingers.

"I’m going to need soap... or something like that..."

Just as she was thinking about how to solve this new hygiene crisis, a sudden metallic ding echoed in her mind.

[System Initialization...]

Her eyes widened. "Uh... what?"

[Loading... 50%... 60%... 100%]

[Binding with host...]

Su Qinglan froze mid-splash, water dripping from her chin.

[Congratulations host, for successfully arriving in the new world.]

She blinked. "Oh no. Not this crap."

Su Qinglan blinked at the glowing text in her head, water still dripping down her cheeks.

"...How the hell are you here?" She blurted out, without thinking once.

Su Qinglan stared at the glowing screen. "...Upper management?"

[Yes! And as a reward, we brought you to a new world! A safe, beautiful place far from ruins, bombs, and famine. Your new, happy life starts today!]

She snorted so hard a fish jumped. "Wow. What a nice story. Almost believable, if I’d never heard about a lying, scheming system before. Tell me your real purpose."

[Host, there’s no motive! We just want you to live well...] 𝘧𝘳𝘦ℯ𝓌𝘦𝒷𝘯𝑜𝑣𝘦𝓁.𝒸𝘰𝓂

She started counting. "Three... two..."

[W-Wait! Host, please don’t be angry...]

"One..."

[Fine, fine! I’ll talk! This world is... slightly behind in development. Populations are rapidly dwindling. Birth rates are almost becoming nonexistent. If nothing changes, in a few centuries... the beast world will be extinct.]

Su Qinglan stared at the screen in silence, letting the words sink in.

[So, um... you just have to save it!] The system finished, sounding far too cheerful for such a doomsday statement.

She raised an eyebrow. "...Not my problem. I’m not saving it."

[H-Host!]

"Nope, not interested." She dunked her head in the river and came up with water streaming down her face. "I’ve already done the whole ’saving the world’ thing once. It sucked. 0/10, not doing it again."

[But...]