Contracted To The Beast novel Chapter 83

Chapter 83

Chapter 83

I felt like I just came down from an incredible high down to cold, harsh reality. That’s the thing about good sex most times. especially when it’s with someone that it’s not supposed to be with. Reality only hits after the climax. One moment you’re floating, and the next you’re dropped back into the cold, hard truth of your life.

And you start wondering, what the fuck did I just do?

This mess of emotions had me questioning everything. I laid on his bed immobile as he stroked my hair.

My body still hadn’t caught up with my brain. My pulse had finally slowed, but my skin still felt too warm, too sensitive could still feel the imprint of his hands on me, and somehow that made everything feel more real.

I hated that a part of me wanted him to keep touching me.

I hated it even more that another part of me wished I hadn’t opened my eyes at all.

His scent still clung to my skin. My thighs ached in a way that should have embarrassed me, except all I could think about was that I liked it.

God.

I liked all of it.

The way he touched me. The way he looked at me. The way he said my name like it actually meant something.

Maybe he didn’t mean any of it.

Maybe this was what men said after sex. Maybe he just felt guilty. Maybe I was the idiot for believing any of it for even a second.

Is this even okay?

Is this genuine?

He claims to have feelings for me but I can’t help but keep having this nagging feeling in my gut that this is wrong.

I can’t let my body get used to this. I’m not supposed to be feeling this way at all.

I hate him.

I really do, right?

I’m beginning to have thoughts I have no business having. It’s scary how I easily just gave up control so easily, letting him explore my body as he wanted.

When was the last time I had someone touch me like I mattered? The last person I was with was Trey and it’s been so long. I was closed off from intimacy completely. I just shut out a vital part of myself.

Well, until I met Maddox again. I knew meeting him again was trouble. I just didn’t expect this kind of trouble.

I thought I was above all this. I was so convinced I had gotten to a point where I wouldn’t make such a mistake again.

Is this even a mistake?

I didn’t even know. I’m not used to having these kinds of thoughts about him.

I almost wished he left immediately after: just like he did in high school. It would have made things a lot easier to deal with.

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Chapter 83

Because staying changed everything.

If he’d walked away, I could have hated him again. I could have told myself he was exactly who I’d always believed he was.

But he’d stayed. He’d looked at me like I mattered. And that made this so much worse.

I got out of the bed gently, hoping my knees wouldn’t give out on me.

“Nia.”

Maddox watched me as I wrapped my discarded robe, alongside the fragments of my dignity left.

“You’re just going to leave?” he asked, staring at me intensely. “We practically just had a moment.”

“A moment?” I asked.

He grabbed my arm. “Tell me you didn’t feel what I felt, Nia? Swear you didn’t.”

I flinched and he let me go. “Tell me the truth, Nia.”

The ache between my thighs reminded me of the pleasure he’d given me, of the heights he’d taken me to. The look he had in his eye.

“It was just sex, Maddox,” I said calmly.

“You’re lying. You’re just a fucking liar,” he replied, looking so pained. “Is this revenge? Are you saying all this because of what I did in high school? I was an idiot, Nia. I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what my thought process was like then. I hurt you. I really did, but I’m not that person anymore.”

“You really did, Maddox. But this isn’t revenge. Sometimes actions just have a much more long-lasting effect than others.” I said to him, tears pricking my eyes. “You left me all on my own, Maddox.”

“I’m so sorry,” he grabbed both my hands. “I just need one more chance, please.”

I wrapped my robe tighter around myself. “It’s too late for that, Maddox.”

It wasn’t.

That was the worst part.

My chest hurt because I knew I was lying.

If he’d asked me one more time, if he’d touched my hand again, if he’d looked at me the way he had a few minutes ago, I might have stayed.

And I couldn’t afford to stay.

For one terrifying second, I wanted to stay. I wanted to climb back into his bed and let him convince me that everything he said was true.

That scared me more than anything else.

Because if I stayed, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to leave.

I walked out of his room feeling like I just broke up with someone.

It was the right thing to do. The most logical decision to make. So why does it feel like I’m carrying this enormous weight of sadness and guilt around me as I move farther away from him.

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Chapter 83

I got into my allocated bedroom and got dressed quickly. It was still drizzling outside when I left.

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I found Leo waiting for me outside holding an umbrella. I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him right now or find out where he just spawned from.

I quietly got into the car.

I spent the drive staring at the rain sliding down the window.

My phone buzzed once in my hand.

I looked down.

Mad Dog.

I stared at his name until the screen went dark.

I didn’t answer.

I wasn’t strong enough to hear his voice.

I couldn’t remember a single street we passed.

All I could think about was one thing.

I had just slept with Zara’s father.

He didn’t know.

And somehow, that felt even worse than breaking his heart.

Take me to the Condo.”

That was the only place I could be alone with my thoughts. I wasn’t in the mood to be scrutinised by Mom. She’ll definitely know that something is wrong. How do I even tell her I had sex with Maddox and he now has feelings for me?

How do I even tell her such a thing?

I know exactly what her response is going to be like; men are willing to say whatever you want to hear just to get in between your legs, and powerful men like him have no business with women like us.

The last one is her personal mantra. Find a decent regular date. Take your eyes away from high-class men and families.

I can never forget what she said when I told her Maddox was Zara’s father.

“That Kane boy?” she said spitefully.

She continued. “Not even the younger one? You chose the worst one? Did he rape you? So all that time you complained about him bullying you, were you two sleeping together the whole time? Do you really think his family will accept you? We’re nobodies.”

The words she said to me keep ringing in my head, about how much he wouldn’t want a person like me.

I subconsciously internalized all the things she said, and now that same person is telling me all this. Things I’m not sure I’m supposed to be hearing, from him at least.

I got out of the car and walked into the condo, taking the elevator up to my apartment. My mind calculated multiple possibilities and imagined different scenarios.

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