Daddy Alpha I’m In Heat (Lily and Connor) novel Chapter 74

“What?” I whispered, because that was the only word my mouth could form.

Alex took a breath that looked like it hurt him to draw in. “The healer confirmed it this morning,” he said. “The impact, the stress, the fall. You were already bleeding before. She said your body could not hold onto it.”

I blinked at him, but nothing happened inside me. My brain rejected the information outright, as if the words reached my ears and then dissolved before they could become real. I shook my head slowly, once, then again, because no part of this made sense.

“No,” I said quietly at first, and then again, louder. “No. You are lying.”

Alex stiffened. “I am not lying.”

“You are saying this to make me stay,” I continued. “You are manipulating me. You are just like him. You are just like Connor. You think if you break me enough, I will crawl back.”

“I would never lie about something like this,” Alex said, and his voice cracked in a way that almost sounded real.

“No,” I snapped, my head shaking harder now. “You do not get to say that. You do not get to speak those words like they belong to you. That was my baby. That was my decision. That was my body. And now you are standing here telling me it is just gone?”

“I did not want to be the one to tell you,” he said quickly. “I was going to wait. I thought maybe..”

“Stop talking,” I screamed, and the sound that came out of me did not feel human. “Stop talking before I lose my mind, because I swear, Alex, if you say one more word, I will burn this whole fucking house down with both of us inside it.”

The room tilted after that, and everything felt wrong in a way I could not explain. My skin felt too tight, like my body did not belong to me anymore. My thoughts started slipping, sliding away from where they were supposed to sit.

“No,” I whispered. “No, no, no. This is not real. This is not happening. This is a misunderstanding, or a nightmare, or my brain playing tricks on me because I hit my head too hard.”

My hands flew to my stomach without me thinking about it, palms pressing down like I could hold something in place if I tried hard enough.

“No,” I said again, louder now. “No. No. No. Please. Please, no.”

“I cannot do this,” I sobbed, the words tumbling over each other. “I cannot be here. I cannot breathe. I cannot lose something I did not even get to say hello to. I did not get a chance. I did not get a chance.”

All I wanted was for everything to end. I had not signed up for this life. I just wanted to go home. That was all. I wanted to be away from this room, away from these faces, away from the version of my life that kept stealing things from me without asking.

“I want to go home,” I cried. “I am tired of everything. I just want it to stop.”

“No,” I choked, shaking my head violently. “This is traumatizing. I want out. I want to leave. I never want to see your face again. Not Connor. Not Bella. Not Emma.”

Alex flinched at Bella’s name, and I saw it register on his face before he could stop himself.

Then he spoke again.

“As for Bella,” he said quietly, “she is dead.”

The words did not land right away. They hovered in the air between us, meaningless sounds that refused to connect to reality.

“She was the one who hit you,” he continued. “She lost control and got hit by a truck.”

“Oh,” I said suddenly, and a laugh slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. “That is funny.”

Alex stared at me, alarm flashing across his face. “That is not…”

“That is actually really funny,” I said, laughing again, louder now. “I came here for the summer. Just the summer. A few weeks of sunshine and fresh air. And my best friend died.”

I laughed again, breathless and sharp. “Wow. Look at that. Look how things turned out.”

My hands started shaking, but the laughter kept spilling out anyway, burning my throat and tightening my chest. “Fuck,” I muttered, dragging a hand through my hair. “I really need to see my therapist.”

I laughed harder at that thought, tipping my head back and staring at the ceiling. “Or a psychiatrist. Or someone with a clipboard. Because this is not normal. This is not how a sane person reacts.”

Alex took a careful step toward me. “Hey. You are scaring me.”

“That makes two of us,” I snapped, and then I laughed again.

“Do you know what is crazy?” I said, my voice climbing. “I am standing here laughing about death. Actual death. Like it is some sick joke the universe decided to play on me.”

The laughter came faster now, higher and more frantic, and tears blurred my vision without slowing it down. My chest felt tight, like it was full of broken glass.

“I think I am losing it,” I said, pressing my fingers into my cheeks as if I needed to check that my face was still real. “I should be screaming. I should be on the floor. But instead I am laughing like this is a punchline.”

“That is how you know, right?” I continued hoarsely. “When the laughing starts and you cannot stop it.”

I started pacing the room, barefoot steps uneven, turning in tight circles because the space suddenly felt too small to hold me. “Maybe this is what happens when your life collapses in one afternoon. Maybe your brain just gives up and checks out.”

I laughed again, abrupt and loud. “Hi. Welcome to today’s episode. Watch Lily lose her mind in real time.”

“Lily,” Alex said carefully. “What is happening to you?”

I stopped moving and stared at him. “I do not know,” I said honestly. “One minute I am existing, and the next minute people are dead and babies are gone and my chest feels like it is full of glass.”

My words started running into each other. “I cannot finish a sentence. I cannot slow down.”

“You need to slow down,” Alex said, his voice firmer now.

“No,” I replied immediately. “If I slow down, I think I will shatter. Talking is safer.”

“Is this how it starts? Is this the part where people say they should have seen the signs?”

The room felt too loud. My hands felt numb. Alex was looking at me like I was already gone.

“I do not feel like me anymore,” I whispered. “And that is terrifying.”

“You are not okay,” he said. “You are losing it.”

Something inside me snapped at those words.

I threw my head back and laughed so hard it hurt. “Losing it? Oh sweetheart. I lost it a long time ago.”

My words spilled faster now, tumbling over each other, “My brain feels like it is buzzing. Like there are bees inside my skull.”

“Lily, stop,” Alex said, fear clear on his face.

“No,” I snapped. “Stop looking at me like this is temporary. This is me now.”

Alex stepped back and pulled out his phone. “I am calling someone,” he said. “I am getting you help.”

Stop Scaring Me

That made me laugh harder than anything else had.

“Yes,” I wheezed. “Call them. Call everyone. Tell them my friend is dead. Tell them my body betrayed me. Tell them I am laughing because if I stop, I think I will scream until my throat bleeds.”

“I cannot handle this alone,” he said quietly.

I leaned closer to him, smiling too wide, my eyes burning. “Good,” I whispered. “Because neither can I.”

After that moment, my life changed completely.