Gone Quiet, Gone Love novel Chapter 12

Claudia's words pierced straight into the chaos of Nester's heart like a sharp knife.

He stood where he was, colors draining from his face inch by inch.

Seeing the look on his face, Claudia felt a sudden pang of pity. She softened her voice to speak, but every word struck deep.

"Before Sab left, she told me that if you come looking for me, I should tell you that there's no greater sorrow than a dead heart. She didn't even have the strength to hate you anymore."

Nester jolted as if all the strength had been drained from his body. He staggered back and slammed hard into the cold wall.

"There's no greater sorrow than a dead heart. She didn't even have the strength to hate you anymore."

Did that mean he didn't even have the right to be hated anymore?

Claudia gave him one last look, then turned and walked away.

Nester stood frozen for a long time. It was only when his legs began to numb that he moved slowly back to his car.

He didn't go home since he couldn't face that empty villa. Instead, he drove aimlessly through the city until he ended up by the river.

Sitting in the car, staring out at the dark river surface, Claudia's words wouldn't stop replaying in his head.

"Are you searching for her like a madman now because you've suddenly realized you love her, or because you were used to her presence? And now that she's gone, you're just not comfortable with it?"

Did he love Sabrina?

He had no idea. All he knew was that for the past month, he felt like he had lost his soul. Whenever he ate, he would remember the varied breakfasts she made every day.

When he slept, he would recall how she always snuggled close in his arms. When he worked late into the night, he would be reminded of the warm glass of milk she would quietly set beside him.

She was everywhere and in every corner of the house.

The kitchen bore marks from when she burned her hand learning to make soup. The bookshelf in the study hid the stomach medicine and handwritten notes she had slipped him when he wasn't looking.

The couch in the living room had her most often used blankets, still carrying her faint scent.

He used to find her annoying and clingy. To him, her world revolved entirely around him, and she had no self of her own.

Now that she was gone, he realized that the house was empty, and so was his heart.

When he took out his phone and opened his cloud album, it was filled almost entirely with photos of Della. From her teens to her 20s, she took up nearly everything in the space.

Photos of Sabrina were scarce. The few that existed were mostly her back or a blurred side profile.

Like an obsessive madman, he desperately scrolled down until he found a video in a forgotten folder named "Miscellaneous".

The video was from five years ago, taken on the night before their wedding. It was shaky, as if it had been recorded in secret.

The camera was aimed at Sabrina in her pajamas. She stood before a mirror and repeatedly practiced.

"Nester, I do."

"Nester, I do."

"Nester, I—"

"I heard he and Della fought today. She cried, and he spent forever trying to appease her. He must love her so much.

"He got hurt playing baseball today. I bought medicine, but lost my nerve, so Della beat me to it. She took his arm and smiled so sweetly that I felt like a thief hiding in the shadows.

"Graduation. I heard he's getting married to Della. That's wonderful. I wish him happiness.

"The wedding never happened. She ran away, and he looked broken. I wanted to comfort him, but I had no right to do so.

"His family started setting him up on blind dates. I pulled some strings just to get a chance to be set up with him, and in a moment of madness, I wore the same dress Della used to wear. When he saw me, he froze, then said, 'Let's get married.'

"I know he was looking at me and seeing someone else, but I still agreed. I love him so much that even being a stand-in was enough if it meant staying by his side."

Then came the entries after marriage.

"Today's our first wedding anniversary. I made his favorite meal and waited up all night. He stumbled in at dawn, reeking of alcohol and saying he forgot. But it's fine. I'll just remember for the two of us.

"Today's Mom's death anniversary. I went to her cemetery and stayed all afternoon, while Nester never showed up. He always seems so busy.

"Later, I found out today is also Della's birthday. He flew hours across the globe just to stand all night outside her door, leave a gift, and come back. I should get used to it.

"His stomach was acting up again. I massaged him all night, but he complained my hands were cold. It's fine; I'll just rub them together until they're warm enough for him.

"I wore a new dress today, but he said it didn't look good, so I took it off immediately. That dress was the only one that wasn't in Della's style, but he didn't like it. He only likes me when I imitate the woman he loves.

"Della's back, so he starts spending more time with her. I tell myself not to care, but it still hurts so much.

"I'm three months pregnant, but I haven't told him yet. I'm saving it for his birthday as a surprise, and I hope it makes him happy."