Chapter 79
love,
E
90
Why was Mom signing with the letter E? Her name was Alice. What mysteries was I missing
here? Mom thought I should be here too? They had meticulously made sure I got here,
whether Uncle Jake was alive or dead, after Mom died. What did they know before the end? My
head swam with possibilities I didn’t have the mind space for. I put the letters back into the
hiding space, along with the drawer.
Maybe she needs to be among her own to shine brighter… Maybe I should give it a try? She
was right, I never fit in, always pushed against the mold. For mom, I’d do this. If I hated it, I
just wouldn’t go out again. I was always the girl with few friends, if any. I’d go back to keeping
to myself, but Carter wasn’t going to miss out on life just to babysit me. I made my way to the
kitchen and grabbed a beer, and took it with me into the shower, where I cleared my head. I’d
leave the mysteries to another day; keep them to myself until I could make sense of them
later.
Rosie stared at me as I tried to decide what to wear after my shower. This felt like meeting
Carter’s parents for dinner instead of drinks and pizza. I had tried to go light on the makeup,
but I hated looking back at the ghost of corporate Analaide in the mirror. I darkened it up, and
flared the wing with jet black liner over the soft brown I had started with, a burgundy on my
lower lid, and blurred that out to a soft glam goth look, and immediately felt better. Boyfriend
jeans and a loose pink sweater? It was something I ordered in case I needed to be
‘presentable‘, I had laid it out on my bed and cringed internally.
A knock came at the door, and Rosie wagged her tail and circled excitedly. Tucker roused from
his place on my pillow in the now mostly put–together room. The boxes of things to keep;
photos, momentos, and random things I wasn’t sure if I wanted to part with were up against
the wall with the random bike parts I hadn’t lugged over to the shop,
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