I Swear I Still Hate Him (Atlas Lawson) novel Chapter 102

Chapter 102

Chapter 102

Emery’s POV

The drive to the cinema was pure torture.

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Atlas’s hand never left mine on the gear shift, his thumb brushing lazy circles across my skin like he was trying to brand me. Every few minutes, he’d glance over and press a soft kiss to my knuckles, and every single time, my heart clenched a little harder.

I should’ve told him…God, I should’ve just told him.

We were already halfway there, and maybe I was scared. Scared that if I opened my mouth, he’d turn the car around, drop me off, and never speak to me again. Or worse… he’d look at me like he didn’t recognize me anymore. But that was dramatic, right? It’s just a movie.

Not like I was handing him over to organ traffickers.

“He said this meant something to him,” that voice in my head whispered.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. I hated that voice… Mostly because it was right.

And I was a coward. A gutless, selfish, stupid coward.

We got to the cinema, fingers still intertwined like everything was fine. Like I wasn’t about to rip the rug out from under both of us.

The minute we walked in, he turned to me with that crooked grin. “So… do I get to pick the snacks or…”

“Emery!!”

My hand snapped away from Atlas’s like I’d touched fire. My stomach dropped. And when I turned around, and there she was…

Sophie.

Wearing a soft blue dress that hugged her figure, her hair done in loose waves, makeup natural but glowing. She looked… beautiful. Like she actually tried tonight. Her arms opened wide, and she pulled me into a hug before I could even fake a smile. I hugged her back, stiffly, barely breathing.

When we pulled apart, I cleared my throat, trying to swallow down the panic. “Uh… Atlas, remember Sophie? She’s our swim team captain.”

Atlas gave her a small, polite smile, nodding. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Sophie said, tucking her hair behind her car, cheeks dusting pink.

I didn’t miss the way she glanced at him. Or how he looked away.

Guilt coiled tight in my throat. I forced myself to laugh, fake, awkward, way too loud.

18:18 Wed, Jan 14

Chapter 102

“Let’s go,” I said quickly.

…

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And then… right before we could pass the doors, I did it. Cue betrayal. Cue disaster. Cue me being a complete freaking idiot…I stopped walking.

“Um… I don’t feel so good.”

Atlas turned to me, concern flashing in his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Sophie stepped closer, her brows pulling together. “You okay?”

I looked everywhere but at Atlas. “Yeah, I think it’s my stomach or something. Kinda acting up.”

“Oh no,” Sophie said. “Do you want us to get you something? Maybe ginger ale or…”

I waved a hand, backing away. “No, no. It’s fine. I’ve got meds at home. Just… gonna head out.”

Atlas’s jaw tensed. He didn’t say a word.

I forced another laugh that sounded more like a dying squirrel. “You guys should go in, though. No point wasting tickets, right? Seriously, don’t worry about me. Have fun.”

And before either of them could stop me, I turned and walked away.

Hands clenched. Stomach twisting. Heart screaming.

I didn’t look back…couldn’t.

But I could feel his eyes on me the entire way out.

****

Back at the apartment, I did everything short of juggling knives just to keep my brain from spiraling.

I read two chapters of a textbook I didn’t even like, redid my assignment for the third time even though it was already fine, played chess against myself like a lonely nerd, and even tried drowning in TikTok rabbit holes. But nothing, absolutely nothing, worked.

Every time I blinked, I saw him.

Atlas, sitting in that theater next to Sophie. Laughing. Whispering something in her ear. Sharing popcorn… Kissing.

God. What if they kissed?

I groaned, dropping the phone on my chest and dragging my palms down my face.

“Get a grip, Emery,” I muttered. “You don’t get to be jealous. You did this.”

I shoved off the bed and stormed to the living room, wrapping myself up in Atlas’s blanket…his blanket, which of course smelled exactly like him. That warm, clean, slightly spicy scent that made my stomach do all kinds

18:19 Wed, Jan 14

Chapter 102

of stupid flips.

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I curled up on the couch and clicked play on some Viking show I wasn’t really watching. Something about axes and blood and cold stares. The chaos was comforting. Like, hey, at least no one here was making out with their crush, who so happens to be her stepbrother….well, not yet, but soon…painfully soon.

Hours passed. Maybe two. Maybe five. Who even knows?

And just as I was finally getting lost in the show, the door beeped.

My heart stuttered.

Atlas.

I scrambled off the couch, trying to fix my hair with one hand and smooth down my oversized tee with the other, my heart doing that annoying rabbit-panic thing.

The door opened, and he stepped in.

I walked toward him, forcing a light smile, pretending everything wasn’t imploding inside me.

“So how was the mo…”

He walked right past me.

Didn’t even look. Didn’t even flinch.

I blinked, frozen in place. “Atlas?”

He stopped just inside the apartment, still facing away, shoulders tense.

His hand clenched tighter around the pharmacy bag. “Do you think my feelings are a joke?”

The words hit harder than a slap.

“Atlas, I’m…”

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